All right, gang, the clock has started. Exactly one year from now, the ancient alien Mayans will return to Earth on their doomsday asteroid and wipe us all out, unless we steal their reverse-engineered technology from the secret government organizations that have hidden it to prevent panic, and escape to the dark side moonbase. Once there, we will only have to overpower the Illuminati and Bilderberg to blow up the water fluoridation plant, but this shouldn’t be a problem, because we’ll no longer be brainwashed by chemtrails. Freed from imprisonment, JFK will lead us to a glorious new world order, and there will no longer be spider eggs in our Bubble Yum.
Oh, shit. I just noticed that my calendar ends in ten days. What does Hallmark know that we don’t?!