Profiles of Nature 2

southern flying squirrel Glaucomys volans looking stressed
Continuing our profiles of various nature photography models, here we have Fionnuala, a southern flying squirrel (Glaucomys volans) with crippling acrophobia. Because of this, she doesn’t actually fly and in fact has not ascended a tree beyond a meter in height; this has made her very good at distracting cats and small children, as well as finding short hollow stumps. She had her first novel published at the age of three, which is no great shakes because average life expectancy for flying squirrels is five, but hey, at least she got it done. She’s fond of recounting the time that she met Bruce Willis at the adult toy store and mistook him for H. Jon Benjamin. Her schoolmates voted her, ‘Most Likely to Sneeze During a Rectal Exam,’ but she admits this has only happened twice, neither time for schoolmates. Many have said that her voice is a fluid blend of Bonnie Tyler and Nancy Kulp (Miss Hathaway from The Beverly Hillbillies, the one that kept saying, “But Mr Drysdale!”,) though she herself (Fionnuala this time) confesses that she isn’t at all turned on by adolescent boys. Her favorite html tag is <rt>.

Be sure to join us this time next week when we get to know another celebrity nature model! We’re sure you’re as aquiver as we are!

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