I reached that website through another, Arizona Writer, who also provided another link. When I did the Amateur Naturalist series, I pointed out that, with insects (that’s part one, and to be more accurate/pedantic/anal, it should have been arthropoda,) it was actually possible to discover either a new species or a new behavior. The details in the above video tell that some of the behavior seen within had not before been seen; this post tells how an amateur naturalist discovered a previously unknown species of jumping spider. The phylum of arthropods is huge, hundreds of thousands of different species, and their habitats are sometimes very limited, so yes, keep your eyes open. Bugguide.net can help a lot to identify what you have found, but some of the participants have been far snottier than necessary, so be warned.

Meanwhile, I’ve been keeping an eye on the local Red-shouldered Hawks, but it’s gotten more difficult. The female has built the nest up a little more so she’s often obscured by twigs around the edge, and a few tiny branches right near the nest produced far too much foliage – most of my lines of sight are blocked, and the nest remains almost perpetually in shade. Yesterday evening, as the sun was low and the wind was blowing fiercely, I fired off a few dozen frames attempting to catch her when the leaves moved aside and the light broke through, but the light never reached her position – they knew what they were doing in choosing that location. The photo at left, while still a crop from a larger frame (the best I can achieve right now with the 170-500mm lens,) shows the conditions I’m attempting to thwart, while the image below is a full-resolution portion of the same frame; you can see the female’s head turned to the right, beak slightly open. It’s obvious I won’t see any nice views of her feeding the young when they’ve hatched unless I manage to get up a nearby tree, but if I have my timing right I might catch the early fledging behavior and first flights. I have no climbing gear (and not even a ladder right now) so the idea of just getting up a tree for a better vantage is easier said than done, and I might simply find that my views from there are no better than on the ground (having to deal with the foliage of the tree I’d be within, as well.) We’ll see what happens.

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Easter quiz!

It’s okay, you’re not being graded on how well you’ve been paying attention. Just give this a shot, then pass it along to your christian friends who spent this morning in church.

8. When/Where did Jesus ascend back to heaven?

a. Jesus returns to heaven on the same day he arose, right after dinner, from a room in Jerusalem.
b. We don’t know exactly, but it’s at least 8 days after the resurrection, when the despondent apostles have gone back to being fishermen on the sea of Tiberias.
c. After his resurrection, Jesus spends at least 40 days of teaching his disciples in Jerusalem before ascending to heaven from the Mt. of Olives.
d. Jesus didn’t ascend into heaven; he met his disciples in the mountains of Galilee and told them he would be with them always.
e. We don’t really know; Luke is the only gospel writer who actually mentions the ascension.

Thanks to David Fitzgerald for the quiz, Phil Ferguson at SkepticMoney for hosting it, and Hemant Mehta at Friendly Atheist for the linkage.

I also need to know what car you drive; make, model, color, and Vehicle Identification Number. You are on public roads, so this is my right to know. In fact, I really need to know what it is you do in your car, because this impacts everyone else. Most especially how often you play with that little Star Trek Tricorder of yours instead of paying attention to the road. I also need to know if your driving habits are contributing unnecessarily to the depletion of fossil fuels. If you drove an SUV into work with only yourself inside, this is a serious problem that must be resolved, for the sake of everyone.

I need to know what kind of eating habits you have, because this ultimately impacts the cost of health care in this country, and can contribute to the decline in life expectancy and even influences children in their developing years. I’m not very happy with those who publicly eat junk food where kids can see them, even if they don’t appear to be enjoying it. Waste products from food packaging also forms the majority of the bulk in our landfills, which affects everybody, so it’s important to know who isn’t doing their part in reducing waste.

I need to know whether you’ve been to counseling of any kind, and how your past relationships have gone – this requires corroborating info from family members, former spouses, and everyone you’ve dated. A very large number of the crimes in this country are committed by people with some shitty pasts, so this is for everyone’s safety. If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine, but you do realize this means you simply have something to hide, right?

I need to see the past seven years of your employment performance evaluations. Productivity in this country is a major contributor to its economic status, and in these tough times, we need to know who’s pulling their weight and who isn’t. Naturally, this also means a good record of your usage of company resources, especially computer and corporate vehicles. I will probably need to install some monitoring devices wherever you work. This is not your own time, after all. Remember, as a taxpayer, my curiosity must influence you since you’re benefiting from my dime, even when you’re contributing your own. Your taxes don’t count in this regard.

What you watch on TV, and the movies you select to view, are of paramount importance. You are potentially a voter, now or in future, and we cannot have effective leadership if the voters in this country are ill-informed. There is also the possibility that violent movies lead to violent behavior, as well as patriotic movies leading to bad foreign relations – since this makes perfect sense, I’m not obligated to actually support this with any kind of facts. Common knowledge is dependable knowledge. If I can draw a connection, it must logically exist.

While I’m on the subject of voters, who did you vote for in the last dozen elections? If they achieved office and made bad decisions, this means that you led us all in a downward direction, and perhaps we need to be looking at voter privileges a little closer. Responsibility is something that should be both earned and sustained.

Are any of your children struggling with school, or maintaining less than an optimum grade? This likely means you’re not a very good parent, and someone should be stepping in. I also need to see what entertainment materials you’re choosing for your offspring. We all know where an abundance of stupid kids leads: YouTube server overloads, and dumber advertisements on MTV. Everyone has to deal with these, you know, not just your own little brats.

I am saying all of this because I am smarter and more moral than you, and you need the guidance. You cannot be trusted to cross the street on your own. Those of us who have learned how to make simple decisions have a responsibility to protect ourselves from abject morons, and to be frank, the morons should be grateful to be controlled. Where would we be if we allowed people to give in to their desires, rather than letting someone else make rational decisions for them?

However, who you go to bed with, what you do when you get there, and how you deal with any consequences… that’s all none of my fucking business. It’s a free country, after all.

Knowing that bees are often guided by how much ultraviolet is reflected by flowers, I have to wonder if the bulbs somehow bounced back more UV than normal, whatever ‘normal’ is. The string was off for the day, so it has nothing to do with the LED output. I don’t think I’m likely to find out anytime soon, because while shooting in infrared isn’t too difficult, ultraviolet is another matter entirely, and pretty expensive to tackle.

Or perhaps the manufacturer just washed the ‘gems’ in pheromones. You never know…

Back when I lived in Florida, I frequented an area on the channel inside the barrier islands called the Indian River Lagoon (though everyone dropped the “lagoon” part.) This was a fun place to snorkel, since it was mostly saltwater and harbored marine life of all sorts, and was as fecund as a rainforest. What you’re seeing in this pic is a typical rock in the water, completely hidden beneath various seaweeds, barnacles, and oysters. The barnacles and oysters were especially memorable, since they’re remarkably sharp and quite capable of dealing nasty injuries; most of my trips resulted in at least a few small cuts, and I still have a distinctive scar on my hamstring area from stepping off a rock and dragging my heel down the edge of an oyster shell.

The water level was lower than normal at the time this pic was taken, and the oyster here is just barely in the water. It was opening its shell to draw in some nutrient-rich water, then expelling the filtered remnants back out again with a sudden contraction. This usually occurs completely submerged, but in this case the spray was ejecting out into the air instead, making a rude gesture to all passing.

Not, however, as rude as another example a little later on. This time, I was completely submerged and examining the rocks through the dive mask, and noticed a different effect. Another oyster was occasionally emitting a cloud of milky white effluent that would drift off in the current. I got up very close to view this is detail, then realized what I was probably seeing – “white” is the clue, but “milk” is in the wrong direction. Let’s be real: species that are attached firmly to rocks are not going to be avid readers of the Kama Sutra, since their options are, shall we say, limited. Fabulous.

I’m realistic, and I know the water is full of all sorts of things like that, but there is admittedly a bit of difference in cases of immediate proximity. I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered, but I can say that it hasn’t happened since I’ve put on weight. Perhaps not the best incentive for losing it, either…

Absolutely no one, for instance, has accomplished the level of proof that I have, just yesterday. Forget grilled cheese sandwiches and silly little shrouds; it’s really hard to argue against finding this when I was clearing out a planter from last year:



That, my friends, cannot be mistaken for anything other than the Flying Spaghetti Monster – in the flesh, as it were, three-dimensional and fully flexible. If you still doubt, you should know that I made lasagna last night too, for the first time in ages. Coincidence? Try to explain that, Ken Ham!

I can only speculate as to the reasons why I was chosen, but I suspect it has something to do with self-importance. To that end, I’m going to make sure everyone possible knows that it was me, and not anyone else, who was favored in this way, so if you’re even thinking of disagreeing with me about anything, fuck right the hell off, y’hear?

On a related note, you can contact me to have your photo taken with the Flying Spaghetti Monster for only $39.95, and it’s possible I can arrange an appearance for your Bar Mitzvah or wedding consummation. In the meantime, remember: always grate your own romano.