{"id":28760,"date":"2021-04-29T06:00:32","date_gmt":"2021-04-29T10:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/?p=28760"},"modified":"2021-04-29T02:13:59","modified_gmt":"2021-04-29T06:13:59","slug":"profiles-of-nature-17","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/2021\/04\/profiles-of-nature-17\/","title":{"rendered":"Profiles of Nature 17"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/0429Euphrosyne.jpg\" alt=\"brown snake Storeria dekayi Euphrosyne peeking from behind dandelions\" width=\"750\" height=\"1125\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-28761\" \/><br clear=\"all\"\/>Wow, you&#8217;re still coming back? We should have defeated even the most die-hard masochists by now, but okay. Today we&#8217;re dropping in on Euphrosyne (six syllables,) who&#8217;s largely retired from the biz now. She started out just fine, pulling down gigs for <em>Guns and Ammo<\/em> and <em>Elevator World<\/em> magazines, and even a walk-on for an episode of <em>BJ and the Bear<\/em> (no, she can&#8217;t walk, but she&#8217;s an accomplished <em>actress<\/em>, dumbass.) She soon had her own line of clothing, but had to give it up because the homeowners&#8217; association didn&#8217;t allow clotheslines. Still, everything was looking rosy until one day two years ago when she was not refused service at a local restaurant, the ma\u00eetre d&#8217; averring that she was too small a snake to provoke even the willies<strong>;<\/strong> the ensuing scene involved multiple police officers, two lay preachers, and a sign spinner. After that, Euphrosyne withdrew from the Public Eye (her odd bank in Massachusetts) and became a bit of a hermit, or maybe theirmit now, not appearing in public, never returning phone calls, and only posting four times a day on FaceBlerk. Naturally, rumors abound<strong>:<\/strong> that she lives in a trailer with 28 caps, or that she&#8217;s responsible for child beauty pageants, or she doesn&#8217;t have any Bluetooth devices. We could find no support for any of these, but we&#8217;d started them anyway, having attended journalism school, so we&#8217;ll just dodgily imply that she has some filthy habit &#8211; your choice. Her great-grandparents came over from South Sudan, and her favorite discredited discipline is plombage, according to a bio that isn&#8217;t actually hers.<\/p>\n<p>If you don&#8217;t come by every week, you might miss the time when this content actually becomes interesting!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wow, you&#8217;re still coming back? We should have defeated even the most die-hard masochists by now, but okay. Today we&#8217;re dropping in on Euphrosyne (six syllables,) who&#8217;s largely retired from the biz now. She started out just fine, pulling down gigs for Guns and Ammo and Elevator World magazines, and even a walk-on for an [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,4,3],"tags":[1682,6110,6111,6112,471,6113],"class_list":["post-28760","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-nature","category-photo","tag-brown-snake","tag-euphrosyne","tag-fat-chance","tag-look-it-up","tag-storeria-dekayi","tag-yes-its-real"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28760","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28760"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28760\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}