{"id":29850,"date":"2021-08-26T06:00:50","date_gmt":"2021-08-26T10:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/?p=29850"},"modified":"2021-08-25T04:47:26","modified_gmt":"2021-08-25T08:47:26","slug":"profiles-of-nature-34","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/2021\/08\/profiles-of-nature-34\/","title":{"rendered":"Profiles of Nature 34"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/0826Chichimecacihuatzin.jpg\" alt=\"eastern fence lizard Sceloporus undulatus Chichimecacihuatzin perched on tree\" width=\"750\" height=\"1097\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-29858\" \/><br clear=\"all\"\/>Week after week, the <em>Profiles<\/em> keep coming, so if you believe in <em>karma<\/em> you must have seriously fucked up in a past life. Don&#8217;t blame us.<\/p>\n<p>This week we have Chichimecacihuatzin, which we&#8217;re fairly certain is just a stage name, since she is an interpretive pole dancer<strong>;<\/strong> her version of <em>Waiting for Godot<\/em> apparently has the gentlemen throwing down the green with the same delight as an Uno <em>Draw Four<\/em> card. Chichimecacihuatzin does not have &#8220;daddy issues&#8221; or problems with self-esteem but is happy with her career choice, being one of the few high-schoolers that followed the advice of her guidance counselor (who&#8217;s a regular on Thursday nights.) She finds her vocation rewarding and is proud of her skills, though we know for a fact that she goes in regularly for spray-stippling, and those are probably not the lips she was born with. True enough, she has to deal with creeps who can&#8217;t understand that her Billy Pilgrim is allegorical, but then again many of us have the same problem at work and we don&#8217;t have the benefit of a bouncer. Chichimecacihuatzin knows she won&#8217;t be able to do this forever and already has her backup plan all worked out<strong>:<\/strong> by her third molt, she intends to have completed her Masters in Theoretical Geneology and can begin consulting. As a hobby, she goes into the comments for music videos on YouTube and tries to make listening to a song sound like some life-affirming thing. Her favorite unidentified item from the bathroom drawer is that thing with the rubber bristles and some kind of hook.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s always a chance that we&#8217;ll have a stroke or something and this won&#8217;t be here next week, so you&#8217;ll check back in the vain hope, and we&#8217;re always happy to exploit that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Week after week, the Profiles keep coming, so if you believe in karma you must have seriously fucked up in a past life. Don&#8217;t blame us. This week we have Chichimecacihuatzin, which we&#8217;re fairly certain is just a stage name, since she is an interpretive pole dancer; her version of Waiting for Godot apparently has [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,4,3],"tags":[6354,959,960,6355],"class_list":["post-29850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-nature","category-photo","tag-chichimecacihuatzin","tag-eastern-fence-lizard","tag-sceloporus-undulatus","tag-some-cucumbers-might-help-those-eyes-though"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29850"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29850\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}