{"id":36889,"date":"2024-05-19T04:22:18","date_gmt":"2024-05-19T08:22:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/?p=36889"},"modified":"2024-05-19T04:22:18","modified_gmt":"2024-05-19T08:22:18","slug":"profiles-of-nature-60","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/2024\/05\/profiles-of-nature-60\/","title":{"rendered":"Profiles of Nature 60"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"least
It’s been exactly five months since the previous Profiles<\/em>, so we’re definitely overdue, and we’re not buying that you haven’t fully recovered from that one;<\/strong> you have undoubtedly noticed that we’ve avoided saying “last one” and likely suspect there’s a reason for that.<\/p>\n

This Profiles<\/em> we have Abelard, who self identifies as an influencer, proudly we might add;<\/strong> even worse. Typical for the breed, Abelard spends his time posing in manners no one ever achieves casually, making bystanders believe he has palsy or perhaps a lizard in his shirt until they see the ringlight and stand. He’s so deep in the mindset that he’s mounted his home TV in a vertical position as well and doesn’t understand why everything is sideways. He heard that camera shops sold filters and bought a bunch, but couldn’t figure out how to get them into the card slot on his phone. We could go on like this all day, but we figured we’d stick to form and ask Abelard about his career background – this only made him turn and look behind him in confusion. Eventually, by exercising far more patience than should have been necessary, we found that Abelard couldn’t remember how he got his start, or indeed, most of the countries that he’d traveled to in pursuit of his obsession;<\/strong> there was, “the one with the big cool tower,” and, “the one where everyone spoke gibberish,” which we later determined was his parents’ house. Nonetheless, he does<\/em> have plans for later on:<\/strong> he would like to investigate the rumor that other people had social media accounts that were not<\/em> just to follow his own, and he’d also like to indulge in a wild streak and eat at a restaurant without posting about it. And yet, tragedy has marred his life as well;<\/strong> he watched his friend dying after getting gored by a bison, and the video was ruined<\/em> by the idiot that kept repeating, “Call 911,” like someone’s gonna know how to do that. Plus who would have suspected those horns weren’t just that cool ‘Viking’ filter? Abelard tried to form his own band but kept finding people who wanted to “play music” rather than simply pose for the album covers. When we pressed him for a favorite, he maintained that the absolute best Pantone was 2308 C, which again, tells you enough.<\/p>\n

It won’t be next week, but the Profiles<\/em> will return, and notice that we didn’t say it wouldn’t be this<\/em> week. Sweet dreams!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s been exactly five months since the previous Profiles, so we’re definitely overdue, and we’re not buying that you haven’t fully recovered from that one; you have undoubtedly noticed that we’ve avoided saying “last one” and likely suspect there’s a reason for that. This Profiles we have Abelard, who self identifies as an influencer, proudly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,4,3],"tags":[7693,7695,7686,7685,7694],"class_list":["post-36889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-nature","category-photo","tag-abelard","tag-at-least-its-not-duckface","tag-calidris-minutilla","tag-least-sandpiper","tag-we-need-to-do-a-double-someday"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wading-in.net\/walkabout\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}