Profiles of Nature 52

52?! Really? Does this mean…?

[We ain’t saying nothing.]

ring-tailed lemurs Lemur catta Riantsoa and Barguy
This week we find Riantsoa, breaking the fourth wall while her partner Barguy judges the window treatments. We wonder now why it’s referred to as the ‘fourth’ wall, since in most cases there are, technically and theoretically, no others; it should be the first or only wall, the main wall, the two-way mirror – something more appropriate. Anyway, Riantsoa and Barguy are stock models and the occasional “real person – not an actor” for advertising requiring generic and unmemorable yet still pleasant-seeming couples, the ones you see easily installing their own backsplashes or enjoying a diarrhea-free life. Seems simple, but it’s a product of years of work and practice; everyone believes they can effortlessly look as though they haven’t had the trots for days, until they try it and find that it’s much harder than it seems. Okay, the phrasing could definitely have been better there, sorry. This makes Barguy and Riantsoa in such high demand that they don’t even have family photos printed anymore because their pictures are already in all the frames in the stores. They also like walking around Hollywood a lot just to watch tourists look excited, then frown, unable to recall where they know the faces from (their autographs are purposefully illegible, so that trick never works.) They enjoy their work, but still intend to devote less time to it so they can pursue their goal of finding which, if any, of the 117 people who claimed to be the one who taught John Travolta how to dance is actually telling the truth; they’ve mentally prepared themselves for the ugly secrets that may be revealed, but the question remains: is the world prepared? Meanwhile, Barguy surreptitiously campaigns to prevent face-painters from appropriating their culture, which may be why Riantsoa is giving us the stinkeye here; we probably should have been more careful about letting that slip. Riantsoa is quick to aver that the best Cats dancer was ‘Rumpleteaser’ from the 1994 season, while Barguy controversially insists that there are lots of businesses like show business, and a couple places like home at least; maybe even two Highlanders.

You know what we’re enjoying right now? That you’re virtually guaranteed to check back next week, just to be certain. Though we’re pretty sure, based on the packages that we’ve been receiving, that that whole ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ thing is utter bullshit.