Profiles of Nature 14

Our nature photography model this week is Balthazaar, also a drama coach, philosopher, father, and nativity display evaluator, here obviously disappointed at this disorganized mess. Balthazaar has been in the biz for over a decade and is highly sought-after by discerning art directors because of his chiseled features and extensive repertoire of legume trivia, which makes more sense read more

Dittyday 2: Madness and beyond

It’s time for a little more music – good music, mind you – and this fine Tuesday/Dittyday the selection is a rather largish English band called Madness. Formed in the late ’70s, peaking in the mid ’80s, they’re still performing today, albeit with a lineup that seems to change weekly.

I’m not the person to inform anyone about music styles and all that – read more

Profiles of Nature 13

This week we meet Prudence: model, fitness instructor, and home gardener (as indicated by the grove on her back.) Prudence is a popular yoga coach with the elderly because she doesn’t include some of the more flexible poses like Ankle Phone and Stuck Stepsister, plus she’s slightly cranky and not all bubbly motivated – we all know the type. She read more

Profiles of Nature 12

This week, we have Wyatt between shooting sessions, trying to get a makeup artist to confirm that he has nothing stuck in his teeth, forgetting again that he doesn’t have any. Wyatt broke into the biz by jimmying the back door, but then discovered modeling while in prison (it was a pretty bizarre penitentiary.) He has a natural gift for playing teenagers, making him very popular read more

Profiles of Nature 11

Our first husband/wife team, Hepzibah and Enoch often work together on the same photo shoots, specializing in topics such as housewares and cheating spouses, and have appeared on the covers of cereal boxes and romance novels (and that one notable crossover, the romance-themed cereal called Steamy-Os.) Enoch and Hepzibah initially caught a lot of backlash for their mixed read more

Profiles of Nature 10

This week we have one of our younger models, Hesterine, here being coached by her handler. Hesterine, naturally, got into the business when pressured by PETA (PETA never asks,) which needed a new spokesmodel after the last one died from malnutrition, curiously since he was on a regular diet of naturally-deceased grass. PETA funded the eye-dewing surgery and the widow’s-peak read more

Too cool, part 47: ze frank is back

I’ve already seen at least two other websites that have featured this video, so I’m slow, but we already knew that. Still, it was too good not to feature, a fine mix of information, illustration, and humor – because it’s by ze frank of course. I’m never sure how to capitalize or separate that…

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it (or even if you have,) take a gander read more

Profiles of Nature 9

This week, we meet Itch Diddli as he either practices placing his handprints on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, or pees on the ferns – we’re not exactly sure which, and it might be both. Itch hasn’t actually done any modeling yet, so all of his anecdotes are imaginary even then, they’re kinda boring. He tried moving to a small town in rural read more

Completely different person

I’ve got a nice head start on the holiday today, which can serve as a reminder for others to produce their own contributions. People have a tendency to forget, perhaps conveniently, that February 26th is Remember The Dumb Shit That You’ve Done Day, but I’m happy to contribute because I figured, Why not? There’s no one reading anyway. True enough, read more

Profiles of Nature 8

This week we’re getting acquainted with Mordecai, part of our Street People series, candid slices of urban blighted hellscape. Mordecai is a member of the “Mants,” a gang that holds sway over the Azalea Bush On The Right, and takes no shit from anyone he’s been known to spray-paint trite, unoriginal designs onto walls where the cops can’t read more

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