Too many of the holidays that are featured here are rather narrow in scope, or appeal, or culture; photography-related, or specific to the US (like we need any more reasons to be self-absorbed,) or even, dare I say it, almost resembling contrived excuses to put up handy content. Today, however, is a holiday that we all can celebrate, and indeed, have probably celebrated countless times in the past, and that’s Fret About What We Should Be Reading And Then Still Not Actually Read A Damn Thing Day, the day that we look at our bookshelves or reading lists or even wish lists for bookstores and think, Yeah, I’ve been meaning to get to that, and then take solace in the thought itself and believe that we’ve made some kind of progress. Personally, I think I celebrated it three times or more today.
Normally, there’s a modicum of guilt associated with this (in)action, which we try to bury under the concepts that we have more important things to do right now, or there won’t be enough uninterrupted time to get much reading in, or we don’t have the right spot to sit down and get comfy. However, that’s what’s so great about this holiday: we’re supposed to make excuses and go watch Bob’s Burgers instead (pay attention to how often Gene has the closing gag to a scene) – there’s no guilt to be had, if we’re patriotic, well, anythings. We’d be spitting on the memory of whoever came up with this holiday if we had any regrets whatsoever. Let’s show some respect now.
Now, I can already hear you arguing, “But Al, the guilt is actually a good thing since we really should be getting to this reading,” and quite frankly, that’s just making an excuse to dodge the meaning and tradition of the holiday – shame on you. There are books and articles and papers just waiting for our attention, and that promise of things to come is what we should be savoring. The moment we actually read them, well, that’s over, isn’t it? I mean, now what?
So, fidget with all the shit on your desk, or fake the throw for the dog, or go through the cupboards to see what snacks would be appropriate for reading and then consume them without actually doing the reading. It’s your solemn duty. I’d even chide you for reading this, except this isn’t on anyone’s list of things they should be reading, so it’s all good. In fact, go check out the Random Post thing over there on the sidebar – you can thank me later…