That’s just your science

An article over at Wired talks in detail about the overblown reputation and fears of the notorious brown recluse spider (Loxosceles reclusa) and, as is so typical of any attempt to impart some needed perspective to the general public, it crashes like a wave against the rock of human nature – at least, if you consider the comments to be a reliable metric, which is likely a bad move in itself. Still, it illustrates a very common trait, one that works against us so often that I want to highlight it (again.)

Short synopsis of the article: brown recluse spiders are rare in a large number of the states they’re reputed to be within. Misidentification of the spiders themselves is common. Misidentification of myriad forms of skin ailments as being the bite of a brown recluse is common. Worrying about them as a dangerous species demonstrates poor perspective. And, an observation of my own, reflected in even giving this synopsis in the first place: providing links in posts to helpful, detailed sources of greater information is often a waste of time.

Because, within the comments, the accusations of how wrong the article is in one aspect or another are flying fast and furious, or ‘speedy and spurious’ if we want to subvert a silly phrase. The range is incorrect, they can travel all over the world in boxes, I can see the evidence of bites on numerous shoppers in my local store, and so on. One of the most detailed points in the article – that the folklore of the spider is mostly dead wrong – gets trumped by the personal anecdotes of far too many commenters [small pet peeve appears here: ‘commenter,’ as in, someone who comments, is not considered by either my computer’s dictionary or Merriam Webster to be a proper word – the only word that means the same thing is ‘commentator,’ which is stupid, because that word is used only for someone who is paid to blather meaninglessly and nobody is ever said to ‘commentate.’ We need to keep using ‘commenter,’ in recognition of common language rules, and force the dictionaries to keep up.]

Ignoring my petty irritations, the power of the personal anecdote is stunning, and unfortunately way out of proportion to its actual value. It’s very plain how many people are completely willing to trash the entire article because of their own experience, or even that of another commenter, immediately after reading that such anecdotes are wildly inaccurate. There is even the not-so-subtle implication, highlighted in bold face in an excerpt, that the allure of drama skews such anecdotes to be even more unreliable:

“If you get a bacterial infection, do you tell anyone about it? Of course not,” Vetter said. “But if you think you got a brown recluse bite, you tell everybody! You put it in your Christmas letter.”

And yet, this is somehow missed by, no matter how you measure it, far too many commenters.

GritspiderNow, let me introduce a few points. I am, among other things, a spider photographer, which means not only do I have close contact with them very frequently, I also seek them out, and look closely at any I might stumble across, and that’s nearly daily. There is not any experience of mine that I can point to as definitely a spider bite, though I am chewed up routinely by mosquitoes and other various parasites, not to mention encounters with bees, ants, and even caterpillars. I might have found a brown recluse once, in my apartment in North Carolina (outside of the mapped range in that article,) but did not get any photos – I know from experience that identifying arthropods is a tricky business, and I did not make enough observations to pin down all of the telltales of the recluse or even the greater family. One commenter claimed that they can spot brown recluses in their vents with a flashlight because their eyes reflect, but that’s true of many spiders, including the one shown here, only a few millimeters across and definitely not a recluse, or even close.

So when I tell you that the article is accurate, well, you hopefully already caught that the entire above paragraph (as well as most of this blog) is anecdotal, and just one uncontrolled data point to be weighed against the studies quoted in the article, using a large variety of data sources and numerous actual specimens examined by qualified entomologists. The weight of any of my statements? Not much at all, really, and certainly no more, or less, valuable than any of the comments on the article. Anything I say needs to be measured against how many ways I could be wrong or mistaken. My biggest point is, of course, that while I refer to my potential inaccuracies, this same potential applies to most such anecdotes that anyone might hear, anywhere. That’s the key thing to remember: one data point, with a confidence value that cannot even be calculated.

And then there’s our old friend, confirmation bias. Even if any of the commenters are entirely correct and highly accurate, this does not negate the points in the article, much less the studies it is based on, in any way. A house full of confirmed brown recluse spiders in Alaska does not mean the state can now be considered part of their range, any more than the NC Zoo proves that puffins are native to North Carolina. You can find commenters referring to necrotic wounds as evidence of brown recluse populations, despite the very clear information within the article that necrosis is not limited to brown recluse bites, and in fact not even typical.

Confirmation bias is the golden child of pseudoscience, but it can be seen everywhere. As I’m fond of pointing out, we don’t give much credence to our neighbors when they tell us of their youthful exploits, sports accomplishments, or value in the workplace – fishing stories, in other words. But when it comes to confirming something we want to believe, oh yeah, then they’re a solid source of information, and even questioning this is often challenged with, “Are you calling them a liar?!?!?” Yet our desire to be vindicated in our beliefs does not give greater accuracy to any statement supporting said beliefs. This is, in fact, when we should be more suspicious, just because we’d love to be proven right and thus play favorites with the evidence – this is even a common warning in scientific fields.

Another consideration is sample size and representation. While I can point to the comments on that article and even count them up according to whatever broad categories I choose to define, it doesn’t mean that I’ve produced reliable data. Not everyone reading is commenting, obviously, and not everyone who came across the article even bothered to read it; by nature it may attract arachnophobes solely because it denies their fears, even in the title, so the negative, defiant nature of many comments would be virtually guaranteed regardless of the points within the article. Then we have to consider how many people skim articles or do not retain every detail within, and thus respond based on incomplete info – reflecting not stubbornness when they miss any point, but mere oversight. This means considering such comments as representing the overall populace is unwarranted, and likely very inaccurate.

Finally, we have a perspective not touched on in the article. The chances of a fatal auto accident are exponentially higher than any illness caused by bites of anything, and this never stops us from driving anywhere – we accept these risks readily even when we know of someone who died in an accident, and the rationales we use are plentiful. Using myself as an example, I receive the most injuries from working on the cars or doing larger projects, and even the smaller projects often produce some damage to my hands – it’s just the price paid. Bodies heal. Now, I can still speak of the immediate kneejerk reactions of arachnophobia, despite knowing that the risk is trivial – I can pick up a modeling knife without qualm despite nearly every finger bearing scars from one, but cannot let a large spider walk across my hand. Rational considerations do not easily overcome phobias. However, the key point about phobias is recognizing that they’re irrational fears, way out of proportion to the risks, and strictly personal. Using them to dictate behavior beyond the reflexive is the very definition of irrational, and not a justification as so many people tend to think.

But this still tells me I should probably finish up my proposed school presentation on critical thinking, because the habit of maintaining a critical perspective cannot start soon enough.

So how does one ‘compose’ an image?

FrostBarbs
It’s been a slow couple of weeks for finding topics of interest for some reason, which hasn’t helped with my resolve to top the number of posts done in 2011 (2012 was well short, and I’ve already passed that mark.) It’s one of those things that I don’t worry about too much, because I’d rather post because there’s something that I want to cover, not to hit some arbitrary number or a personal goal – it’s like the “personal best” idea used in sports, one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard but then again, it’s uttered by sportscasters, so…

ConfusedFlowerAnyway, I still think the frost image above could be better, and if I get out tomorrow morning early enough we’ll see if I can improve on it. I feel the same way about the picture at left, even though this was a re-shoot; I’d taken one the same time as the frost pic (well, not exactly the same time, a talent I haven’t yet mastered, but a few minutes later,) but the flower was in full sunlight and that was making the contrast too high to get the best results from. The petals were blown out to pure white in ‘normal’ exposures, and the rest became too dark when that was controlled for, so I did it again while using the softboxed flash. I’m pleased with the leaves in foreground and background – the flower really was poking up through the leaf litter – but the petals seem off. They’re not only a little too symmetrical, they’re closely matched with the green leaves behind, seeming more, I dunno, geometric than we’d expect. Maybe it’s just me. I do like the prominence of the curled petal, which is why I chose this position and angle.

And that brings me to the main topic of this post. The frost pic at top was the sharpest one I got from several different leaves chosen for the effect – there were others that I liked much better as subjects, but working at high magnification handheld in deep shade, I didn’t nail those shots. With the flower, the whole image could change with a subtle shift in position; I could have shot in horizontal format, which would have worked better going wider and using the more leaves as setting, keeping the flower towards the left of the frame so it was ‘facing’ out over the leaves. A little higher and the foreground leaf would have disappeared, and might have taken away from the idea that the flower was struggling up through the clutter (which perhaps still isn’t communicated all that well – I’m biased because I know what the conditions were.) Other angles would have minimized or obscured that curled petal, just like the other petals that are barely noticeable. And of course, the lighting was important.

DriedPokeberriesThis is what’s so hard about teaching composition, because countless different factors come into play for any image, and that’s just considering one style of shooting, of which everyone has their own. It’s easy to overwhelm new photographers with loads of compositional elements, and no way to define which should be used for any particular image or approach. Here, some dried pokeberries (genus Phytolacca) had produced an interesting effect with the shiny black seeds poking through the decrepit remains of the berries – somehow, the mockingbirds did not discover them this year. But, just using the posts on composition that I’ve made so far, how many different elements were actually used here?

Position – To see both the emerging shiny seeds and the dried husks took a specific angle. Also,

Background – The soft pastel colors came from aiming up at the sky, which also eliminated

Distractions – Other portions of the plant and, much much worse, the nearby chain link fence were all too easy to have in the pic.

Focal length played a small role. The macro lens was necessary to get the detail, but it also affected the depth of field which helped blur out the branches in the background.

A subtle one is perhaps only apparent when I tell you about it. The shine of the seeds is only going to come with a distinctive light source, but the direct bright sun of the day was producing too much contrast, so a white cloth was held up just out of the frame to the left to provide reflective fill lighting – this is especially noticeable in the shine on the underside of the seeds, which were in deep shadow otherwise.

And finally, I cropped the image a little to get the framing just the way I liked it.

DriedPokeberries2It’s not just one image, either – I shot the same subject under a diffusing cloth to simulate light shade, in hazy conditions on another day (seen here,) and at night in completely controlled lighting. I used other portions of the plant or the lawn as backgrounds and even hung a few leaves from a wire close behind for the night shot (because the flash wasn’t going to travel far.) They all produced their own effects – some quite nice, some completely useless. If you ever wonder why photographers take a lot of shots or even seem obsessive, it’s because subtle changes can produce different effects on the image, and perhaps only one choice among numerous variables will net the desired results. Of the two shown here, you likely think one is better than the other, and this may or may not be in agreement with me. This preference thing comes into play when selling shots too, because editors have their own opinions, and uses may dictate certain things – while this latter shot might be more useful to show the conditions, the other might work much better solely because of the blue background, since it has to play nice with any other images in an article or post. This even comes up when I decide what to use here on the blog, and dictated the order of the images that appeared in the previous post.

It’s not unreasonable to ask how one goes about knowing which compositional elements to use for any given shot, and there isn’t a simple answer or formula for that. The first recommendation is to keep shooting, because experience tells you more than anything what will work and what won’t. But it can also help to sit down with an image and hash out the different elements that could have been used – what would fill lighting have done, or should I have come back when it was hazy? How many different backgrounds could I have managed with this subject? Does it even show what I wanted it to show? This changes compositional elements from a memorized list, which isn’t likely to work, into associations with previous subjects or conditions. Soon enough, you start seeing subjects and knowing that it’s going to look better from a lower angle, or with light coming more from the left, even before attempting the shot. And while it can be difficult to predict just how the camera will render it, because they don’t ever produce exactly what our eyes see, you will also know how that several shots at different f-stops will give a variety of effects, and that different approaches might yield some pleasant surprises. Compositional guides and tricks can be helpful, but there’s no substitute for learning how they work on one’s own. And that means practice.

More my style

RedOverlookIn recognition (or defense) of the previous post, I’m much more used to expressing myself in this manner, letting nature take most of the credit. Anyone is free to ascribe their own words, feelings, or impressions to the images. Granted, it’s strictly visual, which might be considered lacking if someone didn’t have their own experiences with autumn, but in all other cases, our associative minds can take the visual input and conjure up the sounds, smells, and even temperatures that are cataloged right alongside.

Sometimes it’s even better this way, since we have a tendency to emphasize the oncoming winter, or shorter days, or the dreaded football season, missing the more pleasant aspects of the season. If I can remind anyone of these (in whatever manner) and make it seem a little better, then I’m happy.

To a degree, anyway. I don’t like the cold weather or the dearth of photo subjects either ;-)

UniversityLakeAutumn

FungusStump

LateBloomer

Contrasts

SubmergedLeaf

SherwinWilliams

Nobody else knows it either

I haven’t done this in a long time…

*      *      *      *      *

A hiss, a scrape, sometimes chittering
A dry leaf teases the pavement
Goaded by the wind which dares
To vie with the sun for the rights
To define the warmth of the day

Not deigning to compete with the thunder
Or the driving rains, the season still
Embraces sound, not in quantity,
But in constance, the murmur of the crowds
Of dry grasses, erupting in surprise
At the sudden gusts, themselves too fickle
To stay for long

The colors, by habit, cannot go unnamed
Taunting our senses with the hues
Of ripe fruit and new flowers.
A disguise, a hoax, they fade abruptly
Laughing at our responses
Knowing the winter will be revealed
By their unmasking

Misunderstood trees, bare and spindly
Flout ironic detachment;
Wearing a heavy coat all summer,
They throw off their clothes
To embrace the winter skyclad
Fingerpainting dark lines
Against temperamental clouds.
Clinging alone at a tip
And flashing defiance in the gales
Just one leaf ignores the directive
And waving smugly
Looks down on its brethren

The sun, disapproving,
Lowers its eye to glare sternly
Through the licentious branches;
We look away from its gaze quickly
But bear the memory of the contact
In purple stain on all else
Only for moments

A roulette wheel of climates
Spins almost daily, to save us from
The cloying monotony
Of dressing like yesterday.
Intrepid explorers, we brave
Dark unexplored regions of our closets

Impudent leaves, giggling and chuckling,
Play upon manicured lawns
To abandon themselves as their own forgotten toys
Fostering screams of displeasure vented
With monoxide gusts through plastic tubes
Drowning out the discussion of the air
And the branches
In a wail of pointlessly saved labor

The mornings bring patterns
Of frigid moisture staining
The grasses and leaves like, well,
Like frost; To make a metaphor for
A most common metaphor itself
Is certainly meta, and probably
Misplaced effort

To sit enclosed by walls and wrestle
With ways to describe and express
Means forgetting that words
Are mere substitutions;
Better to engage
Many more senses
By seeking firsthand
The experience
Oneself

*      *      *      *      *

No, I’m not a poet (duh!) and to be honest, I don’t even like poetry. I just started messing around with ideas a little in honor of the season – and even I know how trite that is. So for everyone out there who’s into poetry or litritcher that wants to comment, just bear in mind the challenge of low-hanging fruit*

* Which is a stupid metaphor in itself. Of course anyone would go after low-hanging fruit – what kind of idiot would climb to the top of the tree for some? Is the higher stuff supposed to be better in some way, or more prestigious? What a pointless expression…

Silly caterpillars

PlayingInTheSprinkler
I know, I know, that’s not a caterpillar. Earlier today Yesterday [I have to stop doing these so late at night, or start ignoring the midnight change] I had checked on the green lynx spider young’uns, which are surprisingly still around, kinda. The ones on the dog fennel have largely dispersed, as have most of the orphans on the rosemary. But there remains a close-knit family on the butterfly bush, still sheltered under the wing (okay, bad metaphor) of the mother, who’s looking pretty emaciated right now. They’re certainly considering leaving home – right as I focused on one, it abruptly vanished from the viewfinder, having successfully cast a line into the wind and ballooned off. Unfortunately, like a few weeks back, it successfully transported itself all the way to my right sleeve, effectively negating any pics and sending it into panic mode since the terrain spelled ‘inhospitable’ to its little brain. I gathered it up and redeposited it back with the others, which possibly created a confusing cause-and-effect pattern to form, if spider minds even work in that way. But while doing some shots, I misted the web to make it stand out better for some experiments, sending a great number of spiderlings, and momma herself, into a frenzy – not of fear or the desire for shelter, as you might expect, but to collect the drops before they evaporated, since there’s been too many dry days recently.

But all that’s not getting us any closer to the title. On returning from that intrepid excursion six meters out the front door, I spied a curious patch on the wall under the porch light, recognizing them for tiny eggs.

SilveryEggs
These are a measured 0.6mm across, and the entire patch can be hidden under the tip of your little finger. Like most insect eggs and many chrysalises, the shells are clear, and the coloration is all coming from the occupants. The few pale ones that can be seen are eggs that failed to develop, while the darker ones are the soon-to-emerge… somethings. At higher resolution, the details are a little curious:

IckyDetail
I figured the dark spots were heads, and certainly seemed like caterpillar to me, but the stripes or hairs seemed off, because I didn’t think any caterpillars were born with them. But on stepping out tonight for other reasons, I spotted the first emergent, who confirmed that I was wrong (as had a friend of mine):

Puberty
Yep, that’s quite a ‘do it’s sporting, as it poses near its recently-vacated microcondo (with rotten privacy.) Moreover, you can see the breaches in several other eggs indicating that siblings are soon to follow. Last one, or few in this case, out really are rotten eggs…

I can’t help but think this is lousy timing, since most vegetation is going into dormancy for the winter and we’ve already had several frosts, stomping with finality on the desperate attempts of the basil and morning glories to keep going. It was pretty chilly as I got the shots of the newborn, and despite the lovely weather today we’ve got a chance of snow tomorrow. While those are some impressive follicles on my caterpillar friend, I’m suspicious of their ability to serve as a winter coat effectively.

FingerOfDoomYet, nature has a pretty good grasp on things, and the mother who deposited these eggs was following a behavioral plan dictated by thousands of years of selection – unless, of course, something went wrong. Of 138 eggs (yes I counted them, but in the image where I could Photoshop a colored dot to hold my place,) four are visibly non-viable, and who knows how many more genetic defects might be present, or were present in the previous generation? It remains possible that the mother who laid these was a bit funny in the head. However, I’m betting that this is business as usual and these little wrigglies are well-equipped to deal with the conditions. The newborn is visible in this pic too, just right of center, so as you can imagine from that, following their progress once they leave the distinctive surrounds of the egg cluster would be next to impossible. While I might find larger caterpillars later on, there would be little chance of determining if they were these hatchlings or not, and even keeping a few in a terrarium would require finding the right food for them, which would be only a wild guess on my part. I’ll assume nature’s got a handle on it.

The Street Cafe at the End of the Universe

Just a throwaway post for the time being – there are other things in the works but they’re not done yet.

Many years ago, a friend and I tried an idle challenge to create a soundtrack for a (then nonexistent) movie based on a book we both knew – the idea was to create the soundtrack, then play it and let the other guess the book from the progression of music. This was before the internet, when CDs were still considered pretty cutting-edge so music stores had much larger cassette sections (with ankylosaurs roaming between the bins – one had to be alert in those days.) So I had to work from my personal music collection, much smaller than it is now of course.

The book I chose was Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy, and for a closing credits theme, I selected the song below, largely because the last lines of the book have the characters heading off to grab a bite at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, later to become the title of the sequel. Also because it’s a nice mellow end-credit song.

Almost immediately, I was struck by how remarkably well the song really fit, but of course you need to be familiar with the sequel first to know this. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is not so-called because of its physical location, but its temporal one – you had to time-travel to the point where the universe was boiling off and dissipating into non-existence, whereupon you could sit at a table and watch this occurring through the big dome overhead, and later the entire restaurant would be pulled backwards in time a few hours and do it all over again – the ultimate dinner show, as it were. Ignore all the problems with paradoxes and trouser legs and how big the place would have to be to accommodate a few trillion years of potential customers, because Douglas Adams did and he’s worth taking cues from. But literally, this is a place where there’s no tomorrow.

Which is where the song comes in:
Street Café – Icehouse

It’s better if you listen to it without any visuals at least once, which is why I uploaded the MP3 file rather than sending you to the video. The song is Street Cafe by the band Icehouse, off the album Primitive Man and later Great Southern Land (and yes, dating from the 80s, but nearly all my music does.)

It’s almost disturbing how many of the lyrics fit so well into the whole idea of the end of the universe, if one allows a little poetic license. I toyed with the idea that Icehouse might have done this intentionally, but I’m more inclined to think it’s just a cool coincidence. The producers of the movie really missed the boat when they failed to use this song on their own soundtrack, but that’s what they get for failing to check with me first.

And if you went to the video and thought it seemed a bit familiar in style, almost derivative in fact, that’s because they have the same director: Russell Mulcahy, also known for Highlander. In this case, I guess there could be more than one…

Seeing is believing. But not necessarily true

Perspective, in the usage of considering some topic from a different standpoint than originally, is a great thing, and something I play with a lot on this blog. In the usage of how things appear to us visually, based on our position, it’s a useful thing to play with in photography as well. But sometimes, it’s hard to override our mental perspective to recognize the visual one.

AdvancingCrepuscular rays are the beams of light, typically from the sun, that emerge from a break in the clouds to throw a spotlight effect someplace – we can generally make them out because of the humidity and dust in the air being illuminated. My example seen here is almost the opposite, being a shadow thrown by the cloud blocking the sunlight, but essentially the same effect. Taken at sunrise, there needed to be several conditions in place to see this. The first is a high-altitude layer of clouds forming a screen across the sky. The second is the lower cumulus cloud, the puffy one in the image, which is hundreds or perhaps thousands of meters lower that the screen layer. And of course the sun had to be very low on the horizon so that its light would not only be thrown upwards against the underside of the screen layer, but also blocked by the puffy cloud.

We tend to throw around phrases like the sun being “within the clouds” or such, going with what it appears to be rather than the reality of it being 150 million kilometers away from the planet, “above” everything. So here it’s not even below the clouds, but the planet and the clouds immediately above my head as I took this were in a very narrow set of acceptable angles, letting the sun’s light under a narrow gap off to the side, changing as the planet rotated and the sun “rose.” In fact, I can’t help when writing this but to think of a quote from Douglas Adams, in Life, The Universe, and Everything: “Several billion trillion tons of superhot exploding hydrogen nuclei rose slowly above the horizon and managed to look small, cold and slightly damp.”

But even the apparent spreading of crepuscular rays, or in this case a crepuscular shadow, is an illusion akin to the convergence of the road edges or train tracks as they trundle off into the distance, since the edges are parallel. Or very nearly. The sun is a hell of a lot larger than the Earth, and all parts of its surface are emitting light. So while light from the center of its face is throwing a shadow in one direction, light from the left edge is throwing a shadow in another direction, and so is the right, and every point in between all of them, resulting in a shadow with a dark central portion that gets narrower with distance, but diffuse edges that get broader. It looks like this:
Shadowclash
… except that, because of the very limited range of it we can see and the enormous distance of the light source from the Earth, we can essentially call the shadow edges parallel. While the angle will reduce with distance, the sun will never become smaller than the Earth and so the edges will not change in nature. Crepuscular rays appear so distinctly to be spreading only because the “wider” part is a lot closer to us than the origin at the cloud or mountain pass or whatever. You’ve undoubtedly seen more pronounced examples than what I’ve used here, and just keep it in mind that they are not really broadening, merely uniform stripes with (more or less) parallel edges.

But I used the top image for a reason, and that is, I also turned the other way and got a shot of the shadow disappearing over the opposite horizon, which illustrates the illusory nature of the phenomenon (and also, for trivia’s sake, called anticrepuscular rays.) Now, the edges seem to be converging back down, or thrown by another light source coming from the opposite direction:
Receding
If you think the fingers of shadows flanking it are that edge diffusion effect, remember that the light source is behind you now, and they should be going the other way. Instead, they are additional shadows thrown by other bumps on the cumulus cloud, becoming visible because the screen layer is curving downwards around the planet. Thinking two-dimensionally in this case is only going to be misleading.

This is all interesting by itself (well, I think so anyway,) but it also parallels situations I see all too often. When dealing with topics such as paranormal experiences, home medical remedies, or even gambling formulas, personal experience is one of the most prominent arguments in support; the trump card is, “I know what I saw” (or felt, or heard, or experienced in whatever way,) the undeniable firsthand evidence. Yet, there is a difference between the raw input of our senses and our interpretation of them – often colored by things we’ve heard from other sources. “Look! An alien spaceship!” Well, no – it’s a light in the night sky, at an unknown distance and moving, perhaps, at an unknown velocity because it’s not possible to determine speed without knowing distance. The ISS, crossing overhead at nearly 30,000 kilometers per hour, appears to be magnitudes slower than a news helicopter that cannot top 225. Mars, Jupiter, and Sirius all appear the same size to us, despite their vast differences in mass and distance. And of course, when someone is told they’re in a haunted location and inclined to believe it, every odd sound, every shadow seen peripherally, is simply more positive evidence. Most amusing about this is when someone who isn’t inclined to believe finds nothing out of the ordinary from the same experiences, they’re often accused of being dismissive or closed-minded – apparently you can be biased against evidence but not somehow for it.

Do these images make a case against paranormal phenomena? Does any optical illusion demonstrate that someone has misinterpreted their experience? Of course not. Yet, it does show that what we think we see and what’s really there are often different, and the true nature of having an open mind is not belief, but accepting that things are not always as our initial impressions portray.

I have my reasons

While this is a bit of pointless personal information that really isn’t going to change anything, I feel the need to make the statement in the face of rather obsessive popularity among the public at large (it is a blog, after all,) and so: I really don’t like cell phones.

Some of this is personal, I admit it. And some of it is because I tend to look at things critically, especially those things that become popular – I learned long ago not to trust the “judgment” of others, and in fact to be highly suspicious of it. But let’s look at it from the simple standpoint of reasons why I should get a fancy cell phone.

Emergency use – The last time I actually needed a phone in an emergency that would not have been available as a land line or nearby business was in 2001. No, seriously. Imagine the money I saved on monthly fees in the intervening 12 years. Sure, this is one anecdote and mileage varies, but let’s be real: no one uses their phone primarily for emergencies.

Business use – This was the reasoning behind making the damn things popular in the first place; apparently a lot of people were either too stupid to hire someone competent to take calls while they themselves were away from the office, or believed they were the only ones competent. Again, let’s be real. But this is the only reason I actually have a cell phone myself, a cheapass little pay-as-you-go jobby that costs me, literally, $20 every three months because I never use all the minutes on it. It’s there for students, for either of us to let the other know we may be held up or lost or something. It serves that purpose maybe three times a year. Everything else goes through the land line, which sits by my desk and computer and is handy for scheduling, looking up details, mapping, and all that rot.

Text messages – Quite possibly the stupidest thing our society has ever gotten involved in. Part of the reason it became popular was that it cost so much to make voice calls, but you know? The day I look to teen girls to help me judge the value of something is the day after a full-frontal lobotomy. Nearly two hundred years after inventing the telegraph, we reinvented it with pretty colors and thought this was cool.

Now, there are uses for messages that are not voice calls; that’s what e-mail is for. Same desk as above. And it has a better interface, takes place on a full-sized keyboard where even my rotten typing style pulls off 40 words a minute, and handles attachments of any kind. Not to mention it does not interrupt me when I don’t want it to.

To be “connected” – One of those things where its appeal comes from how cool it sounds. I’m plenty connected as it is, thanks all the same. I have my own website and blog, spend no small amount of time on others, and do most of my business through such means. I might have had one client that I lost because I didn’t reply to them right away; nobody else was so anxious (and to be honest, I’m not sure I’d want someone like that for a client anyway.)

True, I don’t Tweet, Facebook, or any other social dipfuckery, and take my time when writing posts because I’m serious about it – I couldn’t care less about the minutia of anyone else’s life and don’t imagine they need to hear mine (if you thought this wasn’t an interesting topic you already stopped reading long ago.) I had a Facebook account some time back, that I created when the place I worked for needed to know what social networking would do for their donations. The answer: not a fucking thing, and the account bored me so badly I ditched it. Even from the standpoint of a nature photographer, I already have a site, and it’s possible to “follow” me here.

Somebody told me that I would have gotten more from Facebook if I’d had the right Friends; considering he was one of my Friends, another photographer to boot, and not contributing much, I could only smile…

They’re so handy to have! You can look up anything, get directions, blah blah blah – Horseshit. First off, I’m actually capable of planning, since I was born decades before fancy phones existed. I know how to read a map. I am not flighty or ill-focused, so the number of times I’m “out” and change my mind about what I’m doing is almost nil. I have attempted to use someone’s smutphone for exactly this kind of connectedness, twice. Once there was no signal to be had (in the middle of Raleigh, for fuck’s sake!) and in the other case, the interface was so clumsy that I couldn’t actually locate the information I wanted, and seriously degraded my mood in the attempt.

We’ve reached a curiously stupid point in our lives, where phones are now too big to carry comfortably and yet still too small to use in the manner that drove their sizes up in the first place. My fingers are average size, and yet too big for most of the touch-screen uses I’ve attempted to put them to, and especially too big to try and type words on a fake keyboard. I don’t quite get the appeal of smacking the screen two or three times to get them to register the touch which is their sole point in existing. And maybe I’m getting old, but I don’t find looking at anything on a screen the size of a cigarette pack to be useful in any way. And my desktop computer still feeds a measly 17″ monitor…

I can’t buy the convenience factor when I see people constantly grappling with, fumbling, and dropping their handy toys; by a significant margin, most touch screens that I’ve seen have been cracked, and I’ve watched a few phones shatter when dropped in public – boy, wasn’t that handy? Worth spending another $400 on to get those important “LOL! 2 TRU!” messages, I’m sure. And yes, I’ve been recruited in the search for phones numerous times, and have heard the dead battery/lost charger mantra more times than I can count – somehow, the marvelous uses of these phones did not merit the extra effort of basic care…

The cell phone I carry with reluctance is yet another thing taking up space, formerly in my pockets until one day, when sprawled on the ground doing macro work, 911 called me back – I had apparently dialed them by pressing the phone against the ground. Notable about this is that I had the keypad lock on, requiring a one-second push of the * key before the phone could even operate. So now the stupid thing rides in a belt case to protect the keyboard, making me one of those people, but then again, imagine how much money I’d be out if I’d been carrying a fragile touch-screen phone instead.

You can count on them – The old emergency use, “I can call from anywhere” schtick. First off, I have no use for this in 99% of the cases. When I’m away from my desk, I’m busy, and not inclined to get into a phone conversation. Even the land line has call-waiting shut off because, quite simply, if I’m talking to you, it’s rude to dump your conversation in favor of anyone else. I’m crazy that way. Second, of the various places I’ve gone which might actually be dangerous enough to warrant having a phone handy, most of them don’t have any signal anyway – one of them is two kilometers from the house. And let’s consider the conditions where this would be useful, which are, a) too injured to walk out, but b) not so injured that I’d be unconscious, and c) managed not to damage the damn thing in doing so, and finally d) someplace where no one ever goes. That’s a pretty narrow set of circumstances, voided with e) letting someone know where I’ll be and for how long.

They’re handy when you’re bored – Let’s be real, this accounts for most of the uses, but that’s not me. It’s rare that I’m in a situation where I cannot wander outside to see what kind of bugs are about, or just people-watch, but when it does occur, I usually have the presence of mind to bring a book. They run less than ten bucks, actually have substance, can be dropped with minimal damage, and don’t need recharging. Few bright colors and no bonus points for finishing a chapter, true, but you can buy those little gold stars your teacher used to give out if it helps.

And then there are the explicit reasons not to get one. Like, they’re simply the most annoying things to talk on, with rotten connectivity. Just ten years ago we watched television commercials touting the remarkable clarity of telephone providers’ (land) services; now we see maps where you simply cannot get any. I have honestly had to ask my boss who they were, multiple times, because of the iPhone’s abysmal sound quality, compressed horribly to allow for all the other stupid shit to use the same bandwidth, and I have a friend who I miss almost half of the words she speaks because of the same thing. I have this little criteria, call me demanding: if it’s a phone, and sold as a phone, and even has phone in the name, then it should work, above everything else, as a phone.

Then, my dog, the photos! Look, I’m glad insecure teen girls can get piccies of themselves in the mirror without having to juggle a heavy camera one-handed, but using these godawful piece of shit phone cameras to attempt anything else is simply ludicrous. It’s astounding to come from a mere decade ago, when the resolving power of lenses was a major discussion point in photography, to images that resemble those from the Polaroid cameras that people were so quick to discard at garage sales. There really needs to be another term; we already have camera, which means a device for taking photos, and so we need, I dunno, perhaps a gossipa, for getting snapshots of drunk friends and bad concerts, something that will be deleted within a year and never serve a real purpose at any time. I have a strong stomach, I even like roller coasters, but I want a law requiring something like, “Warning! This video clip shot on a cell phone by someone who couldn’t hold steady to save their miserable life. May induce nausea, heart arrhythmia, epileptic fits, and extreme irritation. You won’t see a damn thing anyway, so don’t waste your time.”

The most interesting aspect of connectivity is how much of a lie it is. I send e-mails to people with smutphones, and rarely get a reply, and never a detailed one. I never leave voicemails anymore unless it’s business-related, because no one ever listens to them (yes, this might just be me – I’ll work on my people skills.) But most especially, I see nothing positive about masturbating with a toy in public. We’re beginning to have new social rules to deal with people so obsessed with these things that they cannot interact usefully, and need signs posted in places of business to remind total fucking morons (there are apparently a lot of them) to put the phone away before trying to use their services. In what brain-damaged way is this supposed to be beneficial, to us or anyone else? What about connecting with the people right smack in front of you, or does this not count?

And of course, this says nothing of the very real, and very distinct, danger of death – death, for fuck’s sake – from using the goddamn things when operating vehicles. I already know how distracting even a conversation in the car can be; I see no reason whatsoever to contribute to that, or to believe that I’m different in some way (the same argument used by drunk drivers, with the same results.)

I imagine there could be at least a few people reading who consider me a Luddite, or a technophobe, or something kneejerky like that, never realizing that they’re reading this on a website that I maintain myself, featuring regular posts of digital images and a few scripts running here and there. I just have a particular outlook: technology is not good or bad, it’s just intended to serve a purpose. And for me, the purpose isn’t to do what everyone else does, or obtain the latest gadgets, or make excuses for expensive toys. If the functionality isn’t there, or if it costs a hell of a lot more than its value, then it ain’t happening on my dime. People can consider that weird if they like.

Anyway, I feel better now.

Just because, part 12

ColorizedJust a pic from today that I liked. I took a few minutes to check out how the colors were advancing, but the thin overcast conditions weren’t going to bring them out very well. In this case, the muted light seemed appropriate for the subject, letting the greys come through. I kind of like the way the main plant came out in the crisp tones of well done B&W work, while the rest of the image has soft, kind-of pastel coloration – a faux mixed-media photograph.

If I was artistic in any way, I could go on for two more paragraphs on the spiritual or aesthetic meaning of this, but I’m more visceral, myself (well, okay, in my photography, anyway.) I’ll let the viewer derive their own impressions from it.

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