All the answers

So, let’s look at this in detail. We all know jesus could walk on water, but could he sleep on water? Could he even swim? If he dove off the dock, would he break his neck?

Maybe the effect was limited to his feet, in which case he’d have to be careful of his balance. Could he walk on rough water? Would he orient to the surface, pivoting around on the crest of an incoming wave? Stand upside down inside one of those monster curlers off Tahiti? If the bit he was standing on broke off, would he fly off with it? How small could the body of water be and support him? Could he walk on foam or mist? Would he be trapped by fog?

Again, if he dove off the dock, would he be brought up short as soon as his feet hit the surface, dislocating his ankles?

Perhaps it was conscious, and could be turned off at will. Could he then sink in slowly and halt halfway? Bob up and down? Could he climb out, like walking up stairs? Or maybe it was simply an on/off thing, and if he switched off he’d simply drop in like anyone else. Would switching it back on after that do anything? If he went very deep, then switched on, how fast would he surface? Would we see a breaching jesus explode out of the water? What if he screwed up the balance thing and came hurtling out feet first with a lot of water up his nose? Could water go up his nose? Did he have to make a conscious effort to drink a glass of water? Maybe that’s why he could turn water into wine.

I lie awake at night thinking about these things.

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