Profiles of Nature 53

Yes. Yes, indeed.

clapper rail Rallus crepitans "Fuffudio" getting overdramatic
This week month Profile we have Fuffudio, shown here during her audition for the latest big screen comic book adaptation, Snuffy Smith: Still Distillin’; she’s performing Loweezy’s reaction to a shortage of squirrels for the stew. Fuffudio was determined to immerse herself in method-acting to prepare for the role of a hillbilly mama, but her family flatly refused to help – we’re just gonna leave that out there. Like many aspiring actingbeings, she’s had to work odd jobs while waiting for her big break, but picking something close to LA probably would have worked better than Foreign Diplomat to Kyrgyzstan, especially since she can’t pronounce it (“foreign,” we mean, not “Kyrgyzstan.”) Fuffudio is devoutly religious, but it’s a religion that disavows fervency, so she spends her Sundays being intensely indifferent; one of her fellow parishioners is capable of Shrugging in Tongues. She’s very adventurous when it comes to the bedroom, though many of her partners are turned off by the quicksand. Fuffudio’s childhood was a little rough because her parents enrolled her in obedience school by mistake (it sounded French,) but if she gets this part, she wants to attend her ten-year reunion to rub their noses in it. C’mon, you should have seen that coming. Her hobby is buying materials to take up new hobbies but not actually doing anything with them, probably the most common hobby there is. Yet she’s musically-inclined, but hopes to correct that with a change in diet. Fuffudio asserts quite proudly that her favorite accommodation of a shitty product is a shoehorn.

Join us next, um, Profile when we have another Profile! Embrace the suck!

[Yeah, you’d hoped they were over, but let’s be real: we’ve gone five entire months without one, which is far longer than intended, and when we got this image there was no question that they had to return. Even better, now you have no idea how many more there might be.]

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