It’s funny, the internet router here at Walkabout Studios has been on the fritz lately, but only on the wireless end – it apparently doesn’t like my smutphone. Every time I return to the office/digital lab/recording studio/workshop/corner desk, it refuses to provide a valid IP address to my TracFone™ unit, which is set to connect automatically and use the wifi when there is a signal, thus saving on the paid data plan. It’s not a matter of distance, because the phone sits no more than four meters from the router, and nothing between to interfere in the slightest. It simply appears that the router doesn’t like my TracFone™ service smutphone. Not sure what the animosity arose from, but it’s undeniable.

In my savvy computer ways, however, I found a way to fool it: I simply shut down the mobile data service, so the phone cannot connect to TracFone™’s service for data purposes. This, somehow, sends some kind of ‘masking’ signal to the router, which then provides a valid IP address instantaneously. And it remains connected indefinitely, without signal loss, and even re-connects immediately when I return from being out of range (for instance, when patrolling the vast acreage of Walkabout Estates.) It’s uncanny.

I would surmise that the router is sending out some kind of spying signal to determine what devices are within range, that killing the data connection disguises, so the router is able to connect to an anonymous device without qualm – you know how routers get. But this is only en educated, sly assumption.

Regardless, be sure to check your own smutphone frequently to see if your own router is temperamental too, especially if you have a data-limited service through TracFone™ (I don’t bother with a large or unlimited data plan, or minutes either, because I simply wouldn’t ever use them – I pay less than a third of what most people are, and use my idiotic smutphone less than a tenth.) Until the router stops communicating with my TracFone™ smutphone, and I’m sitting right underneath the router while the paid data minutes are winding away for no good reason. So, pay attention – something sneaky is going on.