Profiles of Nature 5

juvenile black rat snake eastern rat snake Pantherophis alleghaniensis in alert pose
In this week’s Profiles, we find Durwood just as he was remembering that there is a home inspection scheduled for today and he hadn’t put away certain, um, things – we’ve all been there, even if we don’t necessarily have Durwood’s taste in possessions. He admits that he’s just working as a nature photographer’s model for the time being, fulfilling a promise to his imaginary abusive grandmother before pursuing his lateadolescencelong dream of becoming roadkill. Durwood told us of being the teacher’s pet one year in school, but doesn’t recall being particularly quick or clever, so he suspects it was because she enjoyed seeing him get tripped in the cafeteria; we’ll let you try to picture that. Due to his disappointment in finding that bok choy didn’t taste anywhere near as good as it sounded, he founded the grass roots campaign to rename foods appropriately, suggesting new words such as, ‘plud,’ and, ‘vagicrust.’ This doesn’t leave him much time for a hobby, but Durwood has always been curious about what percentage of macaroni is used only in kid’s crafts, and more importantly why, so he plans to research this in his retirement. His favorite ISO standard is 11040-2:2011 Part 2.

Join us next week when we continue to avoid asking why we keep posting in first-person plural – it’s sure to be a rollercoaster!

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