Profiles of Nature 32

wood stork Mycteria americana Ada Mae Luella wading in surf
Yes, it’s been seven days. No, we haven’t been playing with the calendar or the clocks. No, we cannot skip a week for good behavior.

This week’s featured model is Ada Mae Luella, which everyone agrees has to be a southern name, because southerners like to hear themselves talk; that’s why, “damn,” can actually be three syllables. We’re just gonna call her “A” for short, and pretend she’s Canadian. Seen here while dashing out to pick up a kid at daycare (which resulted in a big hoohah since she doesn’t have any kids,) A demonstrates why no one will ever tell her she looks better without makeup; Adobe created a whole new version of Photoshop just for her. She’s been banned from Instagram for crashing their network, twice, while attempting to apply filters. Her ‘personality’ is so good she makes people think Tom Hanks is a douche – feel free to use these. A was employed very briefly as a model for sculpting classes but was let go because, c’mon, there’s no challenge here. But she now plays to her strengths and is in high demand as a ‘Before’ model for plastic surgeon ads, and created her own lucrative business as a paid bridesmaid that won’t upstage the bride. She also picks up a lot of extra money all during October. Her favorite commission was cover art for a fantasy novel where she posed as the ogre’s club. But A has a dark side too, because her photographer doesn’t know how fill lighting works – just add in the drum stings as needed. She hates being asked for her autograph though, because she can’t read cursive and never knows if it’s hers or not. Her favorite nonexistent word is, “fartumulous.”

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