Let’s face it, anyone can handle ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day,’ especially when we have no actual idea how pirates spoke, except that it was likely no different from how anyone else talked at the time, save for, “I am the captain now.” But tomorrow, July 6th, is for those capable of truly embracing a holiday, because it’s Walk Like an Orangutan Day. That’s right – we get to show off our best rocking, bowlegged, loaded-diaper gait, alternating between knuckle-walking and raising our arms high but limply, as if drying out our pits before entering the beach shop. Bonus points, of course, for wide-eyed, sad and forlorn looks and very mobile lip action.

I’d go into the origins of this holiday, but it goes without saying, doesn’t it? The point is lost if we have to explain why we’re doing it.

And no, it doesn’t count if we only do this at home, any more than we can claim we sing really well. Out in public, all day long at work, grocery shopping, PTA meetings, funerals… nobody gets to talk the talk. Full-on Librarian. This is our chance to show everyone that we’re serious, not poseurs. We should be committed.

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