Freezing my balls

okay its really a frozen soap bubbleAs New Horizons draws closer to Pluto, it’s starting to send back some really detailed images of the distant dwarf planet, including this lovely shot of dawn over its frozen surface.

Okay, that’s an outright lie. You’re looking at something that I’ve wanted to try since I saw it online last winter, and we’ve gotten the conditions necessary for it now. This is a soap bubble, freezing over in the frigid air. It was -8°c (17°f) as I did this, abnormally cold for this latitude, but still much better than the northeast, so I’m not complaining. Okay, that’s another lie. And yes, I’m just shy of half a century old and playing with soap bubbles – don’t get wise.

I tried this during the day, but I think it was just a little too warm for it then, even though the sunlight would have worked much better. I played around with the lighting a lot this evening/morning and never got it the way that I wanted, but still pulled out a few interesting images for my efforts. Focus was also kind of difficult, since it was hard to tell which surface that I was focusing upon, the closest or the farthest, and the strobe was at a different angle than the porch light, so even seeing the growing frost crystals was tricky. You are likely familiar with how the rainbow swirls will dance around on a soap bubble, courtesy of the shifting fluid, and it was interesting to note that as the crystals started to form they might also be dancing around, which seems counterintuitive but there you are.

burst frozen soap bubble
About half of the time, the bubbles would burst even after freezing, leaving this curious shell, but sometimes they would just get a small hole in them. I produced a lot of bubbles for this, catching them on the wand after launching them into the air, and most of the rest would have started to freeze before they burst in midair, leaving a shower of delicate onion-skin flakes of ice to dance on the breeze.

frost on the bubble wand
At one point, having delayed a little too long while moving the strobe, the bubble wand itself froze over, so I did a backlit, dark field shot of the pattern for posterity. But, just once, I captured a very cool effect.

rainbow diffraction through frost
The same trait that makes the rainbow swirls in a normal soap bubble produced this display, as the diffracted light bounced off the inside surface of the bubble to shine through the encroaching frost on the opposite side. You’ll see this again shortly, but I figured it deserved a closeup. The beaded line, by the way, is the coiled off-camera cord between the camera and the strobe getting caught in the light and reflecting off the bubble. And that’s not the only odd reflection I achieved (wholly unintentionally, of course.)

photographer and flash unit reflected in soap bubble surface with frost forming
I also managed a curious double-selfie; the softbox strobe is obvious, but you can also see my belly and the pale left sleeve cuff, with a black glove just barely visible beyond it curled under the lens, with everything duplicated in reverse – one reflection from the top surface of the bubble, and another inverted by coming off the back surface, inside the bubble. The strobe angle happened to illuminate me, but wasn’t aimed high enough to show my head or the camera itself, coincidentally producing almost no overlap from the two images. And I’m sure you didn’t miss the frost beginning at lower right.

I’ll close with an animated sequence, nine frames patched together to show the progression of colors and frost, with the reappearance of the rainbow effect. Sorry, they were shot freehand so they wobble a bit, but I’m sure you’ll cope.
animated gif of frost bubble

Didn’t consider that possibility

While the cartoon that I’m about to link to had been available when I finished the previous post, I hadn’t found it until afterward. The Perry Bible Fellowship has been updating a bit more frequently recently after a long dry spell, so I only check occasionally. But this one is fairly relevant to the topic of that post, even though it deals with prayer answering instead.

It could explain a lot. I wonder if anyone has done a study to see if prayers are answered throughout different religions in a ‘Round Robin’ manner? Or maybe the deities simply spin a bottle?

But how? Part 16: Revelation

The topic of this one has occurred to me several times before, and I think I avoided it because I consider it a cakewalk, a facet that’s all too easy to explain. And yet, there are a lot of people who put great stock in it, never seeming to view it with any form of critical appraisal, so let’s go ahead and look at some answers to the question, “But if there’s no god, how do you explain revelation?”

Naturally, by this is meant religious revelation, and not the sudden realization that Spongebob Squarepants is an homage to Hemingway. A very large number of religious folk credit some form of revelation or another as evidence of god, and there are a wide variety of experiences that they relate in support. I won’t be able to address every variety of course, which will leave the opening that is used so often, not just over religious topics either: you didn’t disprove this one, so it counts as proof. That’s not at all how logic works, but it does demonstrate the bias that underlies so much of belief (and again, not just religious belief.) Despite all that, let’s see what can be found to answer the question anyway.

The first point that I’ve always made, that no one has ever seen fit to respond to, is how all religions have their adherents who claim revelation, now and throughout history. Given the diversity of faiths, including the outright contradiction among many, we have three potential explanations: that revelation is false for all others except mine (the standard, yet unvoiced, belief); that god is fine with whatever faith anyone already has (making any distinction at all completely pointless); or that revelation is just wishful thinking. And while it would certainly be useful to rule out the last one to give any weight at all to the existence of a supernatural being, very few ever seem to expend the slightest effort in this regard. With a certain amount of snarky delight, I will point out that no one has disproved that revelation is nonsense…

Let’s not abandon this aspect yet, because there are a few ramifications to be considered here. Revelations are usually not just a matter of someone being affirmed that their faith in jesus/muhammad/moses/krishnu/ra is correct, but that there is a particular set of actions that they should be taking, and these have ranged as widely as, ‘spreading the good word,’ to, ‘beheading the infidels.’ When extremism rears its ugly stupid head, many of the devout are very quick to distance themselves, even defining what the True™ religion is – but if these actions were dictated by revelation, what then the value of revelation? Holy wars throughout history have been the clash of devotees who believe they have divine authority – that’s pretty much what defines a holy war. Yet all sides cannot be guided by divine information, unless god is intentionally setting up human fights, and again, what purpose would religion serve then? There should be some useful way to determine that revelation is more than simply ego.

There are definitely some things that we should expect to see, if god had any contact at all with mankind in such a manner: an undeniable tendency towards the one, true religion; a lot of people switching faiths; a notable tendency for those of a certain faith to accomplish more, or maintain a better overall quality of life – some benefit, anyway; and perhaps some unquestionable avoidance of dire consequences, courtesy of divine forewarning. Hell, couldn’t we even see some examples of scriptural clarification, where some debated (or badly misinterpreted) passage becomes crystal clear? Yet none of these are in evidence. The number of adherents, the percentages of populations displaying any given faith, vary widely throughout history, with a distinct downward trend for all of them right at this moment (and certainly no steady increase for any.) No one faith can be said to be in better condition, regardless of measuring method, and in fact, several polls in the US at least have shown that religion tends to be strongest in areas of the poorest quality of life – more on this in a second. It’s usually not to hard to find individual examples of people who had a premonition and avoided some situation that might have killed them, such as not getting on a flight that crashes, but this happens routinely even without any premonitions. And just to harp on this aspect a bit, why is it a miracle if someone survives an accident that was fatal to dozens or hundreds of others? Are we to believe this one person was that special? Could you show us how, please? It should be impressive…

Let’s look at the idea of numbers a bit closer. While there are a very large number of people who credit their own revelations, there really aren’t many at all that have switched religions over it, are there? No matter how you look at it, the majority of religious folk in the world have to follow the wrong religion, since not one religion possesses a majority throughout the population – and this is using the broad categories of christian and muslim and such, ignoring the myriad sects within that bicker amongst themselves over who follows the right version. While I know of no source that tallies how many people switched faiths due to revelations, the Pew Report lists 28% of Americans that have “left the faith in which they were raised in favor of another religion – or no religion at all” – it’s probably safe to say that those dumping religion were not following god’s recommendation in that regard. Of the remaining, it was primarily a lateral shift within christianity, with catholicism taking the biggest hit – feel free to speculate on how much of that was due to the reprehensible attitudes the catholic church has been displaying recently.

Even if we assume, just for a data point, that those who converted to evangelical protestantism did so at the urging of god, this still means that everyone who converted to something else, as well as everyone who stayed put in any other faith because their revelation simply confirmed their position, is wrong. The numbers aren’t being kind, to either any particular religion being correct nor to revelation having any value. Again, most religious folk seem to have no problem with believing that everyone else has it wrong, and never tumble to the conclusion that it must be ridiculously easy to be deluded in this respect. But of course this could not possibly happen to me.

Let’s backtrack a bit, and ask what revelation actually is. 99.9999% of the time it’s strictly personal, an experience that no one else has, so of course, we’re supposed to take anyone’s word for what happened – you can see where some problems might arise with this. In fact, it is so ludicrously easy to fake revelation that one might think some ground rules should be in place, some basic standards to differentiate. Feel free to look around and see if anyone, ever, has bothered with this. It’s almost as if nobody cares whether the experience is genuine or not – and, really, that’s what we see. If someone else’s revelation confirms our beliefs, then that’s good enough to be considered genuine, and if it denies them, well then it must be false. But let’s not undersell it either, because such experiences are not related nor responded to with any level of indifference, as if someone finally watched an episode of Dr. Who last night. No, revelations are generally considered quite important, life-changing in fact, and unsurprisingly there is a certain status to being someone to whom god communicated directly, better than receiving a call from the President.

Having set that up, I’m going to surprise a few people by saying that I’m not making a case that most revelations are intentional deceit, because I don’t really believe that myself. Yet there is a strong positive aspect to having a religious revelation, with little negative potential as well, and of course no real bars to clear. Worse is that god is no longer, apparently, doing much in the way of physical manifestations, and has a magical realm to spend time in, so no one really expects such contact to be in writing, for instance, or even a figure appearing in a puff of smoke. No, it’s all in the head – that sounds sarcastic, but it’s not wrong either, is it? When physical manifestations do occur, it is almost always in the manner of a “sign,” and this can be nearly anything.

Once again, I don’t have any figures to throw out in support of this, so all I can do is pose the question: how often are revelations and signs asked for in the first place? How many have come hard on the heels of the desperate desire for a response? How many communications occur when someone finds themselves confused, anxious, depressed, or disillusioned? You remember that point above about religion tending to be stronger in areas with poorer conditions – just how are they related? Or to be more specific, exactly how much of it is because people with few other options find it necessary to appeal for help from a higher, beneficent being?

Such situations become ripe for confirmation bias. It’s easy enough to have a dream about something that presses on our minds constantly, but when it’s religious in nature, how often does this automatically become that sign, that revelation, that confirmation that everything is going to work out? (I have apparently been told, on several occasions, that I’m going to end up in school in my underwear, late for class because I can’t figure out my schedule – it hasn’t happened yet but it’s going to, I’m sure.) How often does a strange pattern in a tree trunk, in a cloud, on a grilled cheese sandwich, become a message because it bears some vague resemblance to someone whose appearance was never recorded, only guessed at by artists? Consider how many things that we encounter daily that can be interpreted as something more, something transcendent or even just remarkably odd, as long as we’re inclined to try and find such things in the first place.

The immediate argument that arises is the emotional one. It must be important, so we’re told, because of the feelings behind it – these wouldn’t occur for any normal situation. So sure, let’s examine this aspect. You’ve probably heard of Beatlemania, the name of which was cribbed from Lisztomania, and are well aware of people losing their minds and even passing out because of the supernatural power of three guitars and a drum kit, right? Consider meeting with a favorite celebrity – how, exactly, is this different in any way from meeting anyone else in the world? Sure, maybe they’re more attractive than average, but is that really enough to provoke such overwhelming feelings? How about the people who get a rush when they see a famous painting for the first time in person? Chances are, the view is considerably much worse than their previous experiences with photos and printed depictions of the exact same work, but the emotional effect doesn’t exactly reflect that, does it? In such cases, it’s not the impact on our exterior senses that has anything at all to do with it, but the perception that we have internally. In other words, we’re emotional because we think we should be. And yes, the mind is perfectly capable of controlling the body to such an extent. Note, this is just over La Gioconda or Hannah Banana or whatever – imagine if we believe we’re meeting god.

When I was in my late teens, I had a dream that I was shot in the chest at close range by a masked assailant. I immediately awoke, but lay in bed motionless for a long time, trying to get my psyche (and pulse rate) back under control. There was no question that it was all in my head, a simple nightmare, but the emotional effect was devastating, true horror, and difficult to get over – and note, this was a negative effect that I had no desire to maintain. We can, very easily, be manipulated by our minds, and ‘meaning’ is entirely up for grabs. We can even have a deep emotional reaction to something undeniably trivial, and it happens frequently, the source of so many of those remarkable (usually non-religious) revelations right before awakening, but also provoked by various pharmaceuticals of questionable legality. Now consider if we’re particularly religious, and have a dream of powerful emotions that not only involves a god, but somehow promotes our self-worth – how inclined are we going to be to tell ourselves it’s just a dream?

Now let’s look at environment. Part of the function of churches (probably most of the function) is to maintain an exclusive, self-supporting environment that reinforces certain manners of thinking, exploiting our tendency to take our cues from others around us. It is hardly going to be surprising that any church that speaks favorably of revelations is far more likely to have them spontaneously appear among members of their congregation, yet this isn’t even necessary. Such things are openly recognized in many cultures (including all those heathen ones,) and the idea of visions, spiritual journeys/pilgrimages, and divine messages has been around for centuries, predating many forms of scripture as well – even this blog title has a distant connection to the idea. We’ll actually pay to have our photos taken with a celebrity, just for the prestige and superficial implication that yeah, we hang out with such higher beings; it’s not a stretch to think that the desire for divine recognition is capable of fudging objectivity to no small degree, saying nothing of those who really would lie about their experience just for the status.

So hopefully, we’ve established that being mistaken about a revelatory experience is exceptionally easy, especially if someone favors the idea in the first place, and it’s even easier to claim to have one. That brings us to the concept of trying to distinguish true revelations from false – again, something that few if any religious folk ever attempt in the first place. So we might ask by what method we could determine the veracity of a personal vision or experience? Obviously, some form of information that isn’t available through any other means, or that supports divine intent at least. How often does this occur? Are there even any events recorded throughout history that demonstrate this to any objective degree? Joan of Arc is perhaps the most well-known of those who acted on their divine communiqués; she was apparently told to repulse the English invaders, which didn’t happen, and achieved martyrdom because she’d been executed after a corrupt trial (and of course, one must ask what god had against the English, and why this event required the intervention?) Was that divinely important? Are there better examples that can be found? Because the religious revelations seem to be faring poorly, compared against scientific ones: Copernicus, Kepler, Einstein, Maxwell, Darwin, Pasteur, Faraday, Bohr, Mendeleev, et cetera et cetera. All of these contributed undeniable and overwhelming advances to our knowledge, our cultures, and our technology and standards of living – and without the demarcations of religion, mind; the revelations are as powerful and equally applicable to buddhists, sikhs, or rastafarians. Anyone is welcome to credit these to god – it’s happened numerous times before – except that this not only trashes the value of religious revelations that urge us to accept jesus into our heart to get over alcoholism, many of these scientific revelations were instrumental in proving scripture wrong and weakening the faith in god’s word overall, so, yeah…

“But you don’t understand,” say the faithful, “god is not here to prove himself to us. He provides help when it is needed.” Or some variation thereof – it’s amazing how many people know what’s going on but somehow never agree with one another. This protest allows for the personal, you-should-do-missionary-work kind of revelations that so many confess to having, which really isn’t evidence of divine intervention at all, nor really a lot of use, especially when compared to how much has been accomplished by those scientific revelations above – is the argument really that god is that ineffectual? Are we to believe that, faced with introducing the concept of germs to mankind a few millennia before we got around to finding it out on our own, or perhaps halting several hundred different slaughters by appearing to some megalomaniacal leaders and saying, “Listen, you little shit,” a supreme being instead chose some urbane citizens to try and convince a couple more people to go to church? You’re fucking with me, right? No, seriously, imagine the number of people throughout history that could actually have altered events for the better, that were overlooked because god was busy making faces appear in oil stains.

Another rebuttal is that, “god only speaks to the faithful,” so let’s think about this for a second, as the phrase, “preaching to the choir,” plays in the background. Of what possible use is this? It’s like having a secret handshake in the club we formed in our youth, or thinking that inside jokes make us clever. Such divine contact could arguably be the best possible evidence for god that exists, the exact way that anyone could become faithful, and it’s wasted on those who are already there? The whole building is falling down, but it’s important to keep polishing the working doorknob?

“It’s all part of a master plan that we cannot fathom.” If we can’t fathom it, then how does one know it’s a master plan? Or I can simply point out that it’s part of the master plan that I make this whole topic look abysmally stupid, and perhaps provoke some religious folk to stop parroting what others have said and start actually using their critical functions instead. The idea of a ‘master plan’ can be used for any argument, any decision, any possibility, which makes it pointless to contemplate – unless, of course, someone is just using it to dodge the lack of coherence in the first place.

Because, in all seriousness, the case for religious revelation is amazingly thin, hardly the kind of extraordinary evidence we should easily be able to obtain from divine contact, and the rest is excuses why it’s not extraordinary. Yet there’s nothing that counters the basic premise that revelation is just misinterpretation, wishful thinking, delusion, and/or outright prevarication. Though the supreme being is selectively choosing to intervene, enacting some master plan or another, actually contacting mortals to provide assistance, somehow this cannot be done in a way that can be distinguished from fakery.

Again, most religious folk who support the concept of revelations usually accept that they’re very often patently false – for every religion except their own. My faith is a virtue, not yours – an amalgam of egotism and gullibility. But this gullibility is a very large part of the problem, because it creates an atmosphere of considering weak, ludicrous claims as potentially valid, one that not only requires having to point out, at length, the overwhelming nonsense of it all, but that fosters politicians who use tactics such as being told by god to invade Iraq.

Oooh, that one’s playing dirty, isn’t it? Except that the religious have purposefully excluded all methods, trials, and functions that could establish how George W. Bush was full of shit, or could be used to call any politician on their rather obvious pandering to religion, which is only done because it works. When such low standards have been set, anyone at all can use and abuse them – and have, throughout history.

There is also, quite often, a certain level of hypocrisy herein. Most religions have some form of active evil, perhaps a specific being like satan or just the inherent properties of being human, but essentially, a manner in which we can easily go astray from the good path that we should be taking. Such a concept virtually demands some form of assurance that we’re not dealing with a mistaken impression, much less the efforts of the prince of lies to mislead us. Having some manner to establish certainty beyond a subjective opinion would definitely seem to be not just worthwhile, but the very epitome of piety, the strength to overcome one’s own ego and desires to flush out the evil influences – yet we see just the opposite, the unquestioning acceptance of whatever answer someone likes best and the nonsensical reliance on faith. The message is hardly consistent.

And then there are the people – thankfully, not many – who really do hear voices in their heads, only it’s not divine contact, but mental illness instead. Maintaining that this is okay – commendable, even, evidence of a special status – is not helping at all. I have personal experience along these lines, when an uber-religious friend of mine was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s disturbing, believe me, and rather difficult to convince someone that there’s something seriously wrong when they’re surrounded by zealous nitwits who continually trumpet that this is a marvelous thing, provoked by their own self-indulgence, unwilling and unable to contemplate that maybe this isn’t what they desperately want it to be. Nothing untoward, to my knowledge, ever came of this particular case (except the wanton destruction of his own car on a whim,) but the same cannot be said for a lot of cases out there, some of which might have been avoided in a culture that was just a bit less gullible and uncritical. When there is some difficulty in establishing what is real and what is not, giving any weight to a ‘possibility’ that has never even been proven possible is a lot less functional than setting some firm criteria to establish authenticity. If it could be just our imagination, it probably is. And if there is some need for divine contact, rest assured that a supreme being could manage to overcome such obstacles.

Monday color 3

lavendar crocus closeupI have a lot of purple in the ‘color’ folder, so I’m trying to space them out adequately, but I suppose they’ll be spaced out with other photos as we go anyway.

(“But Al,” you say, or at least there’s a greater probability of such if you’re female, “that’s not purple, that’s mauve/amethyst/heliotrope/whateverthefuck.” Sure, fine. I stand corrected.)

Anyway, the vivid contrast between the flower petals and the pollen-burdened genitalia was what attracted my attention, this being last year’s crocus blooms. I admit I did not return to try the same shot when the light was muted by clouds, just to see what difference there would have been in the color – believe it or not, sometimes this makes the colors seem richer, with more subtleties showing through. I’ll be back at some point and demonstrate the difference.

Under the wire

Trumpeter swan Cygnus buccinator adult and cygnetSo, in a post on August 10 of last year, and again on August 13, I mentioned a trip that we’d taken that I was going to feature “shortly.” Given that there is no firm definition of this word, I maintain that I still made this deadline.

Also, I had waited for both The Girlfriend and a friend who had traveled with us to forward me some of their own images to feature, which never actually happened, so I remain ahead of them. But yeah, this is kind of a long delay since the images were taken, and I’m using it to fill in during the long cold season.

Anyway, we had returned to Sylvan Heights Bird Park and spent the day checking out the various species that inhabit the park. I had been trying to make it a point to do more than basic bird portraiture this time, but unfortunately the conditions (and perhaps my lack of inspiration) were working against me, so I have a nice collection of images but fewer than I wanted, and none that really bowled me over. This happens, more than sometimes, and it’s one of those things that make nature photography hit-or-miss – you certainly have to accept the bad days along with the good, because you can’t control many of the factors at all, and I have yet to find a locale that’s ‘guaranteed’ to produce bountiful subjects in ideal conditions.

Case in point: this image of a trumpeter swan (Cygnus buccinator) and its cygnet. The light was actually pretty good for shooting a bright white subject, the poses quite charming, and the background hideous. At times, a shift in your own position can change the background into something more useful, but this wasn’t one of those times. Patience can be very useful, since the birds were not going to remain in this same spot all day, and might move to a better location, get into the water, or display some really photogenic behavior, but naturally it’s easier to exploit this if you’re not traveling with other people who really don’t want to stand unmoving and stare at the same birds for long periods. And I admit, my own patience often doesn’t last that long anyway; what else might I be missing while I’m waiting, perhaps unsuccessfully, for the subjects in front of me to improve?

Toco toucan Ramphastos toco behind fenceThen there’s one of the prime reasons why captive photography in zoos and parks often doesn’t work as well as imagined: fences. And, to a lesser extend, glass, and the enclosures behind the animals as well. Getting a nice image without any of these distracting, telltale traits in it can be challenging, but I will (with extreme reluctance) admit that this is one place where smutphone cameras can be useful. A typical SLR [read: proper] camera lens is wider than the gaps in the fencing, so they’re going to show no matter what, but the tiny lens on a phone camera can easily shoot through the openings. Now all you have to worry about is non-selective focus, no control over depth of field, automatic exposure control that somehow thinks 12800 ISO will produce usable images, and so on. But the fence will be out of the shot! Also, there’s a chance that badasses like this toco toucan (Ramphastos toco) will slip a beak through and take your phone away…

In my previous two posts about Sylvan Heights, I mentioned the impressive bird calls, and I came prepared this time with a small digital recorder. This naturally meant that virtually none of the birds wanted to demonstrate their vocal abilities. I managed a couple of recordings, which were often interspersed with comments from other visitors – which reminds me. When planning such trips, always try to avoid the weekends, but also try to avoid days where school trips are likely – I’ve found that Tuesdays and Thursdays are generally best. Hordes of excited, ill-mannered kids are not only annoying as hell, but very likely to interfere with any images you’re after and uncannily skilled at chasing off critters that were providing evocative poses for you. While we were there, a church group of the noisiest and most obnoxious yard apes came through, able to be heard across at least half of the park (I am not exaggerating in the slightest) and could only have been more disruptive if they’d been wielding firearms. Had I owned a taser I would have run the batteries flat. I am very sorry I did not take a photo of the side of the church van when we left as a reminder, because I’ve since forgotten the name and they really did deserve special recognition for their efforts. And if you’re someone chaperoning such trips, try to instill at least a passing awareness that other people are there to enjoy the parks too, okay?

The same goes for photographers – we need to be on our best behavior in public areas, and unfortunately I’ve seen a few too many that fail to recognize this themselves. While we may be trying for a particular image that takes time to get, or waiting for some appearance or behavior, other people have just as much right to use the area, so common (heh!) courtesy is to stay out of the way, not block views, be aware of the tripod and how it might interfere, and be nice overall. I’m not really sure where the arrogance that I’ve seen from some photographers originates, but it’s not only unwarranted, it works directly against them. If you believe you’re some hotshot, what the hell are you even doing in a public park, and not out in a blind in Zimbabwe? Why haven’t you paid for private access to the place? Seriously, if you’re that skilled, you’ll have no problem letting someone else into your special shooting position, because they still won’t be able to produce the images you can anyway. I always make it a point to be aware of those around me, and yield the superior viewing area when I’m not actively shooting, especially to kids – that may be hard to believe with the paragraph above, but it’s obnoxiousness that I don’t like, not kids themselves, and it’s usually much worse when they run in packs. I’ve even dropped the camera lower on the tripod so kids could see through the viewfinder (and the long lens I have affixed) and have invited people shooting with compatible makes of camera to go ahead and affix theirs to my lens when I’ve got something interesting lined up. A little goodwill goes a long way.

Whooping crane Grus americana portrait through fenceSo, another fence shot – seriously, I got less than half of the useful images I’d intended. The only reason I’m featuring this whooping crane (Grus americana) is to show something I’d never realized: the red spot atop the head isn’t feathers, but actually a (mostly) bald spot, and it’s true for the similar sandhill cranes as well – I’ve photographed those numerous times and never noticed, but I suspect you have to be really close. The light angle wasn’t very useful for a better portrait either, with no opportunity to pick another, and had I used a fill-flash to get light into those shadows, it would have illuminated the fence far worse – the best I could have done was to have someone else hold the flash off-camera and away from the fence, and it really wasn’t worth the effort (now you’re starting to see why I didn’t rush this post up, aren’t you?) This particular crane was quite happily greeting visitors, though whether it was in the hopes of a handout, or to protect its territory, or because it was nearsighted and thought we were potential mates, I cannot confirm. But it’s one of the few birds where I got a usable audio recording as it grunted softly; one of the people I was there with was engaged in this conversation, so that’s the other voice you hear.



Masked lapwing Vanellus miles on nestIn a lot of the enclosures within the park, numerous species were all housed together, and in fact visitors are free to enter many of them, separated from the avians by only a low railing (that the birds occasionally disregarded themselves.) Guests gained access through gates that kept the birds within, and vast stretches of netting overhead completed the enclosure, as well as maintaining a barrier to local predators – we observed an opportunistic but frustrated coopers hawk, a native bird-eating species, make an attempt at one of the residents only to be thwarted by the netting.

In a few different locations around the park could be found masked lapwings (Vanellus miles,) a pigeon-sized bird but with much longer legs, members of the plover family and common in Australia. Running around in their yellow masks like anxious opera phantoms, they mixed freely with other birds in the enclosures, but it was a pair tending an open nest that caught our attention. The nest was about as minimal as you could imagine and still be considered evidence of expended effort, but the female was noticeably animated at times, and it took a long lens to confirm that, indeed, there had been a new hatching while we watched.

masked lapwing Vanellus miles with newborn chick
The discarded shell blocked our view for quite a while, and the mother would nudge it at times without actually moving it out of the way, but eventually the chick’s head peeked up from behind, visible here directly above the empty shell to the right, in protective dark plumage but with a white stripe extending from the back of the eye and curving down the cheek. Since I was at the park with three other women, you can imagine the articulations taking place.

What you can’t imagine, and I’m going to have a hard time adequately conveying, was the event that occurred soon after this. There came a sudden surge of bird calls, a cacophony of alarms, that spread seemingly throughout the entire population of the park, a couple of seconds before a large escapee flew overhead, something that I didn’t get the chance to identify but looked to be about the size of a bittern (so somewhere between a duck and a turkey.) What struck me was how the racket started a few seconds before the bird flew overhead, so before I would have thought any of the other birds could have seen it. A lot of them, including both lapwings, raced to the end of the enclosure in pursuit, leaving the nest completely unattended for about ten minutes, much to the chagrin of The Girlfriend. Even when returning, the pair remained somewhat agitated, chattering quietly to each other like disapproving elderly ladies who’ve just witnessed skateboarders in their neighborhood.

And yes, we saw a park attendant following the bird, calmly so as not to drive it further off in panic, but we did not get the chance to see if it had been recaptured quickly. While it is certainly harder to capture escaped birds than mammals, there are a lot of tricks that experienced handlers have available, so it was likely just a matter of time.

Great green macaw Ara ambiguus trying to hideSomehow, just about every image I got is oriented to the left, meaning they need to sit to the right of the text, preventing much variety in the post layout – another reason I held off on this one, but now I’ll just make you suffer over it (I can picture hundreds of readers clawing at their eyes crying, “The repetition! The repetition!” – but then I’m weird, I think we’ve agreed before.) This great green macaw (Ara ambiguus) seemed quite pleased with itself deep in the foliage, and I kept shifting slightly to keep one eye in view, just to maintain a focal point – it’s at least a little better than a straightforward portrait. Unfortunately, I would greatly prefer to have gotten more shots of species people don’t often see, over something usually found hanging out at the local pet store. For some reason, I never even spotted a mandarin duck, which you should definitely look up – perhaps the most gorgeously-colored bird that I know of. There’s one that lives at Duke Gardens too, and has so far defeated my attempts to snag a decent portrait, though I admit to not staking him out like I really should, if I want such images that badly.

Last trip that I made to Sylvan Heights, I managed to find some insect subjects to shoot as well, because it’s me after all. And I did it this time around too, even though I wasn’t trying either time. Previously, it was a mating pair of wheel bugs, which are fairly sizable insects for this area, so I suppose it makes sense that I ended up going in the opposite direction. Actually, that doesn’t make any sense at all…

minuscule spider on pink flowerFrom a hanging basket alongside the path dangled a collection of delicate pink flowers, and as I went in close for a detail shot, I spotted this occupant, prompting me to get the flash out. I’m not going to try identifying it, but I can tell you it could fit comfortably on your pinky fingernail. The sparkle from the flower petals isn’t dew, or really anything particular to this species – it can be seen on a lot of flowers, but you have to be looking really closely. At an average viewing distance it usually can’t be made out very well. The results would certainly have been better with the softbox attachment, but I hadn’t planned on doing any dedicated macro work and so hadn’t brought the equipment I typically use for that – I know, right? How can I call myself a photographer? Believe me, it was a struggle to even admit this to you, but my therapist tells me it’s good to get it out in the open. Plus there’s all that stuff that I never tell anyone…

Despite the my results, I can still recommend Sylvan Heights Bird Park for a visit – definitely a cool place with a lot to see, just be prepared for some variables (as you should for anyplace you visit.) Spring is a good time, because birds are in their colorful breeding plumage then, but since the lapwings were hatching eggs in August, you’re not likely to be missing much if you go at practically any time of the year. Have fun!

The smell of burnt gingham

First off, a quick note: when I made the previous post, I was totally unaware of the circumstances surrounding the shooting in Chapel Hill (actually just a few miles from where I live.) I don’t pay attention to news at all, really, and it’s largely because of exactly this kind of utter nonsense. As one commenter on that site pointed out, it’s considered news precisely because we almost never hear about such things happening (while the particular religious faith of the vast majority of criminals, as well as prison populations, somehow goes unreported.) Anyway, I wasn’t responding or reacting in any way with that post, it’s just coincidental. But while I’m on the subject, this is a pretty good idea.

submerged chorus frogSecond, I realize I missed Darwin Day. Well, I was fully aware of it approaching, but I have gotten no recent images nor found any particular topic to write about in that vein – I even returned when the conditions were better to try and capture higher quality images of some early chorus frogs like the one at right (well, not like the one at right, but much better,) yet they were nowhere to be seen on that trip. Plus when I finally had the chance, I wasn’t at all in the mood for writing. I’ve learned to simply not try at those times, because I’ll end up rewriting the entire thing later on, or post it and then hate it thereafter. There will indeed be a belated Darwin Day post at some point, when I have put the appropriate effort into it. Keep watching.

Finally, in honor of the other holiday, I direct you to The Bloggess, who I feel is absolutely correct in her assessment. Humor of this nature fits in a certain niche (ahem,) because if you understand the suggestiveness, you’re already well aware of the subject matter. In other words, it’s not corrupting – but you’re already ‘corrupted’ if you understand it. Otherwise it’s perfectly innocent. Too many people don’t appreciate this kind of subtle double-entendre artwork; worse, they react to it negatively, sometimes well out of proportion to the joke therein, and thus suggest the deeper meaning to everyone who didn’t get it, having a worse affect than if they’d simply clammed up kept their mouth shut.

Now I wish I’d saved all the valentines I received during grade school in the 70s so I could see what those little tramps were really trying to tell me…

You’re a what?

I’ve mentioned before, I have occasionally considered splitting off the portions of the blog devoted to critical-thinking from those discussing photography – the main part of the site is, after all, about nature photography, so the latter posts are certainly appropriate to the theme. But there’s a bigger reason, and it’s that I’m an outspoken atheist in the bible belt, while I advertise my services as a photography instructor. There is no doubt that I am losing at least some business because of this.

Which is pretty silly, to be honest. I don’t talk about atheism, or religion at all, or critical-thinking, or 80s music, or the proper way of making tacos, when I’m with students. I used to do wedding photography as well, and that meant going into churches and even waiting through the ceremonies – and believe me, some of them were pretty ridiculous. But I long ago learned a bit of professionalism, which means I know what’s appropriate and what’s not. When I’m with a student or giving a presentation, you wouldn’t know (and couldn’t guess) my views on religion. I even have religious friends, and my dad does guest sermons.

[There are some religious folk who seem to believe that atheists are immoral, actively evil, nihilistic, and so on – this is not too surprising to those in the US who have seen it firsthand, but somewhat more so to Europeans who get almost no exposure to rabid fundamentalism. To these religious folk, however, atheism equates with satanism, never tumbling to the idea that considering all religion to be mythological pretty much trashes satan too.]

A blog is a place to air ideas, to vent, and (at least in my case) to practice writing – the personality that one may perceive from a blog might have little to do with how someone is in person, and this can be said for most forms of online personae. I imagine many Facebook users are not silly and vapid, and most of those commenting on YouTube are entrusted with more than spoons and crayons. Yet, I’m not sure everyone understands this, and whether the number of students I receive would increase if the critical-thinking, more-obviously-secular-and-atheistic posts just weren’t linked at all. While this site is not exactly setting fire to the internet, or liable to crash any servers anytime soon, it still garners traffic, so having any intention at all of addressing thoughts to people at large means that splitting off to another site/subdomain/whatever will reduce the audience by a significant margin. I don’t see that serving much of a purpose.

I’ve toyed with the idea of making some brief explanation on the photography instruction page, but that presents a dilemma all its own: did I just bring such posts to the attention of people who normally would never have noticed? Is there any way of subtly broaching the subject, without sounding cagey? Or is there some way of presenting this information only after someone finds the posts? Obviously, even this one will disappear into the depths eventually, and it must also be considered that those who view any of the religion-trashing posts with horror are unlikely to keep browsing.

Then there’s the idea that, perhaps, I’d just rather reach clients who are grown-up enough to handle it; I’m already rather impatient with people tending towards fundamentalism, because it very often impacts a lot of what they do, even their overall attitude and perspective. I’m going to repeat an earlier sentiment here too: if anyone is disturbed by the thought of taking photo lessons from an atheist, if this somehow threatens their faith, then it’s probably better that they’re forewarned, because it doesn’t sound like their faith was very robust in the first place.

So I guess it will stand this way for now, but this is the kind of self-evaluation that one gets to do with a website and blog, with the added bonus of never knowing what the right answer really is. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Monday color 2

green treefrogs Hyla cinera
Same pic in RGB channelsThis week’s entry for Monday color seems, on first impression, to be rather monochromatic, though a peek at the color channels shows no lack of other color registers – there’s just an emphasis on green. I imagine we can all use a shot of green right now.

Both frogs also hew fairly closely to the rule of thirds, but not perfectly, and certainly not by design – I just framed to get them both in the shot, with the limited positioning I could accomplish, perched atop a retaining wall aiming down at the pickerelweed with a long lens. After unloading the images, I decided I wasn’t wild about that upright stem right behind the sharper frog. Should have been paying closer attention.

You got… something on your face… right there

tiger longwing Heliconius hecale profile
Part of my routine is photo sorting, which involves examining each image I take for (my standards of) quality, and discarding those which fail to make the grade. One standard is critical sharpness, so images get reviewed at full resolution, which means they’re much larger than the monitor size and I’m only seeing small excerpts at a time.

While doing this for the images taken at the butterfly house recently, I spotted a curious detail on what I believe to be a tiger longwing (Heliconius hecale,) but there’s a few species that could possibly fit this color pattern so I stand to be corrected. In the profile perspective above it can just barely be made out, but let’s go in closer to see it a little better.

tiger longwing Heliconius hecale with encrusted proboscisIt’s a good thing that butterflies don’t have their mothers around when they reach this phase, because that’s a sight sure to make mom whip out her handkerchief and start scrubbing away while her kid squirms and grimaces – I’ll let you try to imagine an insect with its compound eyes squinted shut. I can only assume this is some coating from the interior of a flower bloom, because I’ve never seen a butterfly that liked eating paste, but I’m not a lepidopterist either. It does make me question what purpose this would serve, and if it’s possible for that stuff to get into the tip of the siphon proboscis and block it, effectively preventing the butterfly from eating. And now we come to the mental image of a butterfly blowing its nose.

I’ve seen that eye pattern in several species, and while I think it’s a ‘false pupil‘ effect, it might also signify ommatidia that have different purposes, like seeing more into the ultra-violet spectrum. Then again, that white stuff might be cocaine – it does come from poppies, after all. This would also explain why butterflies cannot fly in a straight line.

We return (reluctantly I admit) to being serious for a moment, to talk about the cropping of the closeup here. There are a lot of different ways to crop the image and see the crucial detail, and a lot of ways that make it awkward. The one I chose makes use of the corners, places the crucial bit in that ‘thirds‘ region, and portrays a subtle diagonal emphasis right across the image. The first crop I tried was a bit too wide and the facet I was illustrating thus smaller and harder to see. I won’t say this is the ‘perfect’ way of doing it – I don’t believe there’s such a thing anyway – but it’s what worked for me, and considerably better than many choices. Little decisions like this can help your images more than you might think.

Hello? I’m sorry, the connection is weak…

Let’s start off with the correction, or at least the admission that a statement that I’ve made numerous times in the past was not supported by facts. The statement, in various forms, was essentially that before various empirical proofs came along, people generally believed that religious scripture was literal and factual; this was largely used when I was discussing the claims of some passages being metaphorical, the rather blatant dodge of the religious to excuse the countless inaccuracies. Not long ago, however, I came across a source that said that the idea of at least portions of scripture being considered metaphorical goes way back, and it was only very recently that the emphasis on, for instance, biblical literalism arose, largely within the US. I want to make some distinctions clear here: religion and christianity and even protestantism and its offshoots are not all interchangeable, and indeed, judaism has a long history of examining scripture to try and fathom the meaning (always with the assumption, however, that there is one, and that the source is ultimately a supernatural being.) Addressing things of this nature is always rather tedious. Every time an argument is put forth from any religious person, it is with the assumption that their religion is the only one; all others are false and not part of the discussion. However, any atheist who replies to this aspect will often be accused of not factoring in all religions – yes, this kind of fence-jumping happens all the time.

Now, I’m not even sure how accurate this correcting source is right now since they did not provide much in the way of supporting documentation, but I’m well aware that numerous theologians, going back centuries, tried to work out all of the anachronistic, contradictory, and just plain weird portions of scripture. So yes, any statement that “everyone believed it was literal in the past” is wrong – I’m not sure I’ve ever been this specific, but at least, the emphasis on literalism is not as supportable as I made it out to be, and I hereby correct myself. Yet, a lot of questions still remain, such as if the majority of religious folk believed, or if the work of these theologians could be considered representative of the greater populace (or even known?) And was there any consensus on which portions were metaphorical, and which were accurate?

And frankly, I don’t care – it’s an activity for historians, but producing an accurate statistic doesn’t really lead us anyplace. Because the overall point still exists: scripture is accepted as ‘the word of god’ despite any demonstrated inaccuracies, and a truly ridiculous amount of effort and machinations are put forth to try and justify this standpoint. I’ve already addressed the metaphorical excuse before, so I won’t go into that again, but I will reiterate some very basic points. The first is, there is no method by which the intention of any scriptural passage could be determined to any reasonable degree – the ‘metaphorical’ portions aren’t in quotes, or highlighted by asterisks, or whatever. The second is, the argument that this could be the intention is hollow; it could also be entirely mythical. Funny how that possibility never seems to be given any weight, isn’t it?

Seriously, let’s examine this one for a moment longer, because it’s very distinctive in itself. If a medical diagnosis was either an upset stomach or appendicitis, how stupid would it be to arbitrarily chose just one and ignore the other, for whatever reason? If someone gave you directions and said, “At the next intersection, take either a left or a right,” then everything’s okay? The correct answer is the one that is most liked? No, doing something to determine which of two or more choices is most accurate is the very definition of rationality. This will be the topic of another post later on, so I won’t belabor it here – I just wanted to highlight an aspect of behavior that, for all other topics, is considered signs of mental instability, but among religious subjects it’s just dandy somehow.

In fact, it is a symptom of the underlying problem with any and all uses of scripture (at least, I have yet to find an exception, anywhere): no matter how inaccurate, how inapplicable, how outright ridiculous any passage might be, the religious will find an excuse, any way of desperately avoiding the simple admission that it’s wrong. Because there’s the premise that god is perfect, so if scripture is imperfect it wasn’t written by god. Makes sense – yet this is an unacceptable conclusion, so any and all methods of salvaging the errors within scripture are fair game.

You think this is hyperbole? Let’s take a look at some examples – these are largely going to be about the abrahamic scriptures, the basis of judeo/christian/islamic structures, but I’ll try to mix it up a bit too:

Geocentrism – Or if you like, the Earth being the center of the universe. This mistake, to the best of my knowledge, is made by every religion that addresses location in the universe at all. And yes, it has always been considered literal, with the churches using force when necessary to suppress the evidence otherwise. In some quarters, it is still argued to be correct, often by claiming that it all depends on your measuring point, the relativity dodge. There are two problems with this. The first is, it would mean not just the sun and moon, but every star, galaxy, nova and dust mote, even space/time itself, dances around the Earth in a tight circle, voiding the concepts of gravitational mass and the conservation of both energy and momentum. The second is, relativism effectively destroys the concept of ‘center’ by nature.

The nature of the ‘vault’ or firmament of the heavens, the moon, and stars; night as a curtain or veil – Yep, literal; a big ceiling that these were all pasted upon (or in some cases, a fabric they were shining through,) one that would even open up at times to let the fucking rain come down – it’s impossible to find any wording that contradicts this in any way, actually, and the astronomical studies of planetary motion tried for centuries to accommodate these nonsense ideas. Once established as dead wrong, at least the religious only resorted to claims of metaphor and little else.

The day-age excuse – The universe was created in seven days, according to abrahamic scripture, but is pretty distinctly 13.8 billion years old according to literally hundreds of interlocking aspects of physics. “Day” doesn’t even have a meaning until you have a rotating planet. No matter, say the creationists, it says right here that a day is like a thousand years to god, so there you go. Even if we ignore the technical bits about, again, “day” and the very same issue with “thousand years,” there’s also the gross mismatch of what happened in each day, the wrong order of development, and some really ridiculous things like birds forming from the air.

Fossils are all fakes, planted to ‘test mankind’s faith’ – There’s really no need to explain this one, nor is there any passage referring to it in any way. The same excuse gets used quite often for anything that science has firmly established in contradiction of scripture.

Geologic strata was all laid down in the great flood, and the fossils within are arranged in layers mimicking evolutionary development by ‘hydrologic sorting’ – Yes, it contradicts the one above – don’t expect religious folk to be consistent, and you’ll avoid disappointment – but this one’s a beaut, so stay with me here. In stable geologic deposition (no folding, uplifting, etc.) the older stuff will be found deeper, and the newest stuff closest to the surface. True to form, the deepest fossils are all early forms, simple critters, while the shallower/newer fossils demonstrate evolved characteristics. No no, comes the reply – they all died at once, victims of god’s hissy fit over… something, it’s never been clear what. But the smaller ones settled to the bottom layers – yes, a global flood is supposed to have produced layers – and the big suckers like apatosaurs stayed closer to the surface. I’m not making this up. To the best of my knowledge, no one has managed to explain why all human remains, as well as every damn mammal in existence and those “just apes” like Neanderthals and Australopithecines, didn’t filter down past the dinosaurs with the rest of the ‘smaller’ critters. Sometimes the failures are so blatant you wonder what kind of a mind manages to miss or ignore them.

Racism/slavery/child abuse – These are not minor items, but pretty damn high on the scale of unethical behavior, no matter what the standpoint, and for the most part, the religious try to pretend these don’t exist. While this is certainly better than using them as ultimate authority to justify bigotry and abuse, it’s a long ways from admitting that these are remarkably damning evidence against being advice from a perfect entity. Not to mention that this blind-eye attitude is less than a century old in places (especially here in the southeastern states of the US,) which means a few thousand years where they were used as justification of abuse and classism, that wonderful “word of god” thing that has improved our lives so much. Sadly, homophobia has not yet joined its brethren in dismissal, even though jesus told us to love one another…

[Right away, some rabid nitwit is going to leap up in correction and say this was “as brothers,” unable to realize this does not salvage homophobia in the slightest. Seriously, this happens all the time.]

Now, there’s one aspect I haven’t addressed, though it comes up far more often than any of those above. It is frequently claimed that scripture is not, and was never, intended as any form of history, scientific tome, or information source, but only as a guideline to ethics and behavior – that it is, in essence, entirely metaphorical, an elaborate fable just to give mankind a cultural basis for morality.

Utter. Fucking. Bullshit. No, really, copious, unending, spraying green chunky bullshit. I’m actually going easy on those points above, because they’re usually passed on to the flocks of the devout from a trusted authority after hammering home the whole peer influence, one-of-us thing, targets with weak wills and no concept of making sense because blind stupid faith is “a virtue.” I’m not excusing this, but at least I understand how it happens. However, the claims of scripture being entirely parable and only structured to relate stories are nearly always put forth by people considering themselves scholars, who supposedly can understand what a metaphor is and why it would be used, and who speak on behalf of what is purported to be careful consideration. However, to arrive at this conclusion one would need to have never actually read scripture, be completely brain dead, or in pursuit of a particular agenda. There are pages upon pages of genealogies, historical events, and supremely petty behavior, from the devout right on up to and including god. There are direct connections to known figures and events, very obviously the attempt to tie everything in with history – not to mention that both the creation of the universe, and the eventual destruction of it (with very specific predictions, mind you,) serve no purpose in a metaphor, especially when the details are not only dead wrong, but completely unconnected to any other portion. The lineages of the special people are continually harped upon, clearly placing birthright well above behavior. And then there are the countless slaughters, not in any way examined through the lens of pointlessness, regret, or consequence, but openly glorified, often assisted by god in a vengeful and bloodthirsty way.

Moreover, the explanation/excuse of parable runs into another glaring problem – one, again, very often ignored in the pursuit of the status that being religious is supposed to impart. Even if we, just for the sake of argument, accept that scripture was exactly intended this way, only a brain-damaged fucktard could deny that it has failed, completely and spectacularly, to guide the devout towards good behavior. Aside from the very large number of people who managed never to grasp either the nature of the metaphor itself nor the message underlying it, we have the centuries of bloodshed and persecution, oppression and subjugation, that have all rallied behind “the word of god” – and still do. It’s more than insulting to keep hearing this feeble, whiny excuse from supposedly intelligent, educated adults, and I really can’t stress enough that we should be enthusiastically ripping new assholes over it, every time it appears.

Coupled with this is the hypocrisy of certainty. To the devout, such claims of metaphor are never couched as possibilities, or one of many interpretations – invariably, the language of “this is exactly what it means” is used, in complete denial of the myriad interpretations over the centuries, the various aspects which fail to support the metaphor, and the bare fact that only one person can tell you for certain whether a metaphor was intended or not, and that’s the writer. When theologians are in discussions with educated atheists, however, the certainty behind these arguments vanishes, probably well aware that it’s analogous to blind dogmatism, and instead we’re asked to, “consider the possibilities with an open mind.” It appears an open mind is useful in those who disagree with you, but absolutely unacceptable in those who you claim to be guiding.

We cannot ignore the other side of the coin, which is the metaphorical interpretation that so much of religious doctrine is based upon: abortion and birth control, blood transfusions and medical care, tithing, marriage, masturbation, circumcision… actually, just about everything that differentiates faiths from one another, under the broad groups of christianity or islam for instance (which are themselves just offshoots of the same scriptural sources) is owed almost entirely to interpretation, the remainder to selectivity. The hierarchy of holy men, the rituals, the idea of meeting houses and weekly schedules even, do not appear in scripture except as vague passages, certainly not in any form that would permit anyone to pronounce them as “the way.” Most of those mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph were entirely unheard of when written, and for many centuries thereafter. Yet somehow, we are told, god finds abortion and birth control a sin. Isn’t it amazing what can be found, especially what can be found when other sins like trimming your hair and beard were obviously just metaphors for, um, something else?

Scriptural scholars have examined all of these aspects, and many more besides, for the possibility of metaphors and translation errors and editing and so on, comparing usages and writing styles and even presumed attitudes. The first point of order is that, despite these efforts, no consensus has been reached on 90% of the possibilities outlined, so anyone that proclaims the ‘true meaning’ of any of it doesn’t have the weight of authority nor education behind them. The structure and style that would actually denote metaphorical usage, that would serve to distinguish such passages from literal or historical records, is nowhere to be found throughout the vast majority of it (but, curiously, can be found in limited passages, showing that it was indeed known and understood at the time of the writings.) But what is even more well known to scriptural scholars is how much of scripture has been changed, excised, cribbed, tossed about, and otherwise mangled over the centuries, from the arbitrary declarations of ‘canon’ through the vast missing portions to the blatant contradictions. Even if we blindly accept the premise that somewhere in the past there was a divine source, nothing that remains is trustworthy as representing it. I cannot give an adequate impression without writing a few thousand more words, so feel free to look into it on your own.

Now, there’s a salient trait of all of these that deserves to be highlighted very clearly. None of these interpretations are, nor have ever been, responsible for any form of special insight or guidance. All of them, and nearly every other explanation ever offered over scriptural inaccuracy, only exist to bring scripture up to speed with what we have determined by other means. This is like the kid in school who, when corrected, spits out, “That’s what I meant.” So, even if we accept the premise that these are what was really meant in such passages, we still never knew it until we found out through other methods, over a period of centuries, mind you – centuries filled with persecution and genocide and all sorts of divine guidance horseshit while we waited to decipher the fucking puzzle. One must reasonably ask how many other ‘proper’ interpretations we have yet to find, since it’s pretty clear from this premise that the gods weren’t actually trying to explain anything or guide the flock, so what conclusions should we draw from this? Or are we to believe that right now, we finally have it all correct? Based upon, what, the enormous advances religion is now providing to mankind?

Moreover, such claims of metaphorical intention have never been consistent – not among all of the adherents of any given faith (or even splinter sect thereof,) nor throughout history. Geocentrism is a metaphor? Too bad church doctrine persecuted people over proposing that the Earth orbited the sun. The seven day creation cycle refers to ages or millennia or whatever? So why do we have a seven-day week with one of those being holy? Nobody believed in literal witches or demonic possession? Good news to those that died, I suppose. But you know what’s even more telling? That these explanations are only considered important to defend religion from secularity – they’re only used when it is pointed out how worthless scripture is as a guide. They are not, ever, promoted to the faithful to try and correct them, so that any given faith is consistent and unified, everyone gaining the benefit of the True™ meaning. In other words, these are not offered as information or guidance, but excuses.

Or, of course, we could just toss scripture into the trash as being far too ridiculous to contemplate, realizing that the only bits of it that we find valuable aren’t exactly deep thoughts, and that the natural world demonstrates far more truths to us than every bit of scripture combined. I’ll be the first to openly call the idea of god, any gods, to be complete fucking nonsense, but will still point out that, if there’s anything that we can consider divine intent, it’s the basic dependable physical traits that we live with, every day – the real world.

But you know what’s ironic? The very thought that we apparently needed these stories to guide us, because we’re too fucking stupid to figure out some basic rules for getting along socially, yet the interpretation of them has required countless millions of hours of study (still without deriving a consensus,) and on top of that we feel we’re more than intelligent enough to handle this. Isn’t that wildly inconsistent? But imagine if, instead, we put all that effort into just building a useful social structure all on our own. What could we have accomplished then?

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