Yes indeed, that means I can spoof Tolkien as well as Python, but it also means it’s time for the annual tag roundup, brought to you by no sponsor whatsoever; when you think “tags,” think nothing!
The number of single-use blog tags continues to explode, like bacteria in a restaurant icemaker, and in the same manner, they lead mostly to shit. Nothing needs to be added to an intro like that, so away we go!
unsolicited tail pics – Also, “I would definitely teach you how to pick on philosophers and religious folk though.” But it leads to a video from zefrank, so make of that what you will.
I wanna shewt sometin’ – Also, “heeyuk yuk,” and, “a little better than the broad side of a barn.” North Carolina does have its stereotypes, and too many of them are perfectly accurate.
but like what if trees could fly – what would they land in? – Seemed appropriate.
I have a big python – Probably goes without saying I suppose, but alongside that is, “snakes are good mmm’kay?,” just to show off my knowledge of the classics.
like a bathtub draining – Nice and echoey.
out of my way tourists! – Also, “Girlzilla,” and, “which person was ‘shopped in?” You’re gonna see a lot of Storytime posts in the lineup, to be honest, but they deserved the custom tags more often.
you probably already stood in line for hours and fought people for these – And not to be outdone, “everyone say ‘freeze!’,” “not one of these was Photoshopped,” and, “switching to male model,” even though it’s a tossup whether that or nature photographer will bring me more money. Those all lead to
could be worse – could be puns – And, “forgot to add the shirt logo though.” There will be another high-effort-for-idle-commentary post coming before too long, because it’s winter, but I really did have fun with it.
lots of color options for this year’s model – Probably with names like, “Majorcan Austere Crinoline” or something…
some minds you should never peek into – Also, “god I need a life.” That’s adequate warning.
adding ‘arthropod embalmer’ to my resume – And, “stop telling me to get a life.” We seem to have a theme going…
somebody’s laser pointer I bet – Truth be told, I’m still curious about this one.
a minute later they all crashed to the floor – And, “actually I missed it for years,” “so a rosé?” and, “tip jar over there to the right.”
Right said Fred – Okay, a confession: I can’t for the life of me recall what I was referencing with this, or why. Please help.
I know when to go out – Coupled with, “don’t believe in modren art.” Don’t make me explain these references.*
vast tracts of hand – An older one, but as I said, I can do Python references too.
You want a print for your gynecologist? – With, “not many people ever asked me to remove their bra,” and, “no popcorn on the g-string.” Almost certainly a case where the tags are more interesting than the story…
shake hands with a nature photographer at your own risk – Not that you would anyway.
I ain’t mispel nuthin’ – Links back to last year’s tag post, and also features, buried in that horrendous stack of tags at the bottom (included to use them twice in the history and thus not appear again in the list of single-use tags,) “the magic word for a free print is ‘conscientiously’.” Had anyone ever let me know they found it, they would have had a free print of their choice, but it hasn’t happened yet. Am I doing that again this year? Mayyybe… BUT – I’m also including the tags from the very first tag roundup, and likely the misspellings too, so the list down there is horrendous. Good luck!
I’m onto them – And then, “there’s someone from Witness Protection at the door.” Still here, though.
the neighbors gonna be wondering again what the hell I’m doing – No lie; I’m pretty sure they think I’m eccentric at least.
shaking my cane – Along with, “aren’t genes wonderful?,” “Geritol,” “crotchety,” and not to be left out, “get off my lawn.” With all that you should figure out the subject matter, and I suspect this is Buggato’s favorite post – you’d get that impression, anyway. But it’s also a holiday, so it’s segue time! Let’s take a look at all of the holidays we celebrated in 2019!
January 23rd Does Not Exist Day, January 23 (duh)
Get Around To Doing Something Because It’s Been A Year And There’s Nothing To Shoot Anyway Day, February 21
International Reflections on Mortality Day, March 22 (deja vu)
National Teaser Day, April 29
Nail The Pan Day, May 7
Do Some Creative Editing Day, June 2
At Least It’s Not All Cocked Up Day, July 30
Go Without Internet Week, August 8-15
Get Stuck On A Roller Coaster Day, August 9
Stuff Wood Mulch Into Your Pants Day, August 10
Story Game Day, August 11
Stay Overnight In A Gatsby Mansion Day, August 12
Lake Guns Day, August 13
Drive Through Horrendous Tornado Conditions But Keep Going Because The Trip Is Already Taking Too Goddamn Long Day, August 15
International Curse At Green Birds Day, August 18 (all of August’s holidays together under one post, and all regarding a trip I took, as if you couldn’t figure that one out. But if you want more info, the podcast here – well, and here – will fill you in.)
Beware of Strangers Barings Gifs Day, September 24
National Green Lynx Spider Day, October 4
Respect Your Elders Week, November 25 – December 1. Amazing how this fell right on Buggato’s birthday…
Get Awakened Twice Before The Alarm Goes Off Day, December 22
In the post for September’s holiday, I mentioned that I had to get a shirt like that seen in the first gif (pronounced “œýøç‡”,) and indeed I did, for christmas – The Girlfriend spoils me. Now, are we gonna see my own gif appearing here at some point? Only time (and my variable level of self-debasement) will tell. Right now, consider yourself privileged to have even seen this…
For the record, this is now the sixth year of doing the tag roundup, believe it or not. If you want to see previous years, you can click below:
Now a few numbers, so my supervisors know I’ve been earning the abundant remuneration that I receive over all this. We had 201 posts for the year, a little short of the record – coming in third, in fact, behind 2015 (218) and 2017 (215.) I recently added a plugin for WordPress that lets me compare word count for the first time, and this year fell someplace in the middle with 164,000+ words – again, 2015 led the way with 188,000+. But somewhere in the past few months I broke the 1.5 million word mark for posts on this blog – that’s like ten or more good length novels. Frightening, isn’t it?
For photo uploads, however, we have a new record this year: 747, beating out 2015’s mere 706. May alone saw 173 (and an ambitious video) hit the server, with another 133 in October. So yeah, I can live with that – even if some of them were, shall we say, a tad frivolous.
I’m not going back and picking what I consider the highlights of the year this time, but the Favorites page has been updated not too long ago, so that serves for now. Meanwhile, if you’re looking for photos, I can say that May and October not only were the most productive, they probably contain the best overall pics.
So I think that’s plenty long enough, and will give you stuff to
avoid check out for a couple of hours at least. Have no doubts that we will be revisiting the tags again next year, because why stop if it hasn’t gotten any less lame or nauseating? That’s my motto, anyway. This assuredly gives us the best approach to 2020 that I’ve heard yet.
* Oh all right. At the risk of irritating those who were all over it (hi Kev!), I’ll explain. “I know when to go out,” and “Don’t believe in modren art” are naturally both references to Modern Love by David Bowie, and credit to Venture Brothers for throwing in the same reference once. But wait! I misspelled “modern” – twice actually! And that was intentional too, because it’s a reference to Mr Roboto by Styx – lead singer Dennis DeYoung can not only be heard to pronounce it that way, it’s in the lyrics – though the “R” is reversed there. I didn’t bother to figure out how to do that, plus it would have made it much more obvious that it was intentional and fewer people would have been mentally correcting me. No one actually corrected me anyway, but that would have required readers…